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 Gardie's Poetry

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Fog of Nature
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PostSubject: Gardie's Poetry   Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:51 pm

Final Friend

A whisper on the wind cries to me,
a cry that others would rush to flee.
But I do not care for what I am told,
in those last moments your life will unfold.
For veiled in black is a comely enough fellow,
a fellow who's known to lure us to shadow.
But I do not fear and neither should you,
no matter what you try there is nothing you can do.
For Veiled in black is a comely enough fellow,
the greatest friend any man will ever know.


For more please come here.


Last edited by Gardecario on Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Matt
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:11 pm

Oh...My...God...That poem makes me want to go in army even faster! I like the 4 first lines the best, those are the ones that made me emotive, and trust me, that doesn't happen a lot, lol. I didn't even know you could write poems, you shoudv'ed told me! I'd be a fan! The subject is very well chosen and well developped, I hope you update soon!



EPS


Last edited by EPS on Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:12 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : I goofed up in the words)
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Tue Mar 30, 2010 1:13 am

Fog of Nature wrote:
Final Friend

A whisper on the wind cries to me,
a cry that others would rush to flee.
But I do not care for what I am told,
in those last moments your life will unfold.
For veiled in black is a comely enough fellow,
a fellow who's known to lure us to shadow.
But I do not fear and neither should you,
no matter what you try there is nothing you can do.
For Veiled in black is a comely enough fellow,
the greatest friend any man will ever know.


For more please come here.

Okay, I don't know if I got the message right but the fifth until the last line made me think of death. Am I right about the message? Also, could you tell me what inspired you to write this?
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Artrain
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Mon Apr 05, 2010 11:59 am

Nicely written FoN. Figures of speech have been used extremely well I think. Rhyming was good and did not hinder the meaning, so was the rhythm. Overall, a good allegory...

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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:12 pm

Awesome FoN!! Enjoyed the rhyming!! And your poems are always enjoyable to read in my opinion.
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Apr 07, 2010 4:08 pm

So you have wished it, so shall it be.

Tears

Falling from heaven like diamond tears,
it starts to rain to wash away fears.
Falling from heaven like diamond tears,
each drop on the ground like music to my ears.
Each falling from heaven in a leap of faith.
All falling form heaven like diamond tears.

To feel the smooth touch of an awakening shower,
to me has a joyful, soothing power.
To calm ones soul from the inside out,
to help find peace and remove your doubts.
At times like this my heart could just soar,
but is soon brought down by the torrential downpour.
And fate brings us back to the world of sorrow and fears,
while the heavens shed millions of diamond-like tears.
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Apr 07, 2010 4:20 pm

Very beautiful imagery FoN. Both visual and that concerned with the sound. The repetitions of 'diamond-like tears' worked. It was interesting how you connected it to various meanings. The ending was definitely good. Sad and final. Good work. Keep writing...

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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:31 am

Time

There is more than grace to see,
even in the eyes of eternity.
For time is our greatest enemy,
from time there is no safety.
Time kills billions without fail,
erasing kingdoms like dust in a gale.
To survive time is to prove thy might,
to live on in memories as undying light.
The sands of time forever flow,
this is fact everything must know.
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:36 am

both poems were great, the rhyming was good. the first one reminded me of a man people call death. the second one reminded me of the song, 'living le vida loca' dont know why. the repitition in some poems makes it sound like a song, and the first paragraph would actually suit a song, to me. the third reminded me of great empires that fell, like egypt, how time ebbed it away. (ofcourse other empires played a part.) overall, very nice, and update soon.
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:45 am

Nice rhyming you got going there. Rhythm was also good. The figures of speech in the first couple of lines were very good I thought. The latter part seemed much more straight forward. I personally would have liked if you kept on weaving some more metaphors till the end, but thats okay. Overall, quite a nice read...

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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Fri Apr 09, 2010 10:19 am

FoN you write very good poetry. Your poems flow well and follow a kinda story. they are a good length as well. I will be checking back for updates.
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Fri Apr 09, 2010 12:43 pm

Well written. I love it...it makes me want to read more from you ;)
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Tue May 25, 2010 12:33 pm

Wow I haven't updated in a lowng time, time to fix that. XD

by all that I know,
by whatever powers there be,
the truth should be known
of sky, fire, and sea.

For these three do hold balance,
forever unbiased,
with them we stand a chance,
against the powers that've massed.

Give the three life can thrive,
withou even one we would never survive.

We ruin the land,
child of fire,
in this evil act do we play a hand,
driem by need, an endless desire.

Given the three life can thrive,
without even on we would never survive.

The sky is poisoned,
by the fires of greed.
A lust for shiny metal,
a never ending need.

Given the three life can thrive,
without even one we would never survive.

The oceans are marred,
cut across, and stolen from.
Though it never be scarred
it's storms scorn all theifdom.

Given the three life can thrive,
wihout even one we would never survive.
From ourselves these hinge do we deprive,
and only to one destination will we arrive.
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Sat May 29, 2010 6:27 pm

Do unto the world as the world do into me,
this is a fact the world should see.
You've shown to me nothing but scorn and hate,
bitter emotions that I'll reciprocate.

You've opened my eyes to the world of pain.
It falls upon me like a blackened rain.
I see in you only hate and disdain,
my defenses for so long can I only maintain.

Once they are broken,
all you'll get is a monster.
These kept inside fences,
are all I can muster.

Once the lines are crossed it falls upon you,
because I will not bow, I will not break.
It falls upon yoi to decide what to do,
because I will keep going for my own lifes sake.

The monster inside for so long can be chained,
but once released you'll see all that's restrained.

You said it yourself,
violence breeds violence,
keep pushing to hard and I'll break the silence.
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Sat May 29, 2010 7:59 pm

Good Alex!! You know I love your poems. Razz Was good...I like your rhyming and the way it all flows together nicely. Keep updating! =]
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Jun 30, 2010 12:40 am

Blazing Angel

Time to get this show on the road,
Only on place to go.
We're walking the line all over here on death row,
You heard the man, ladies time to go.
Lock and load.

Lighting the fires on the front,
Nothing but demons on the hunt.
Time to take to the skies
No time to say your good byes

Riding on the wings of cold fire,
Blazing blades of desire
Haunting places where the greatest fell
Blazing angel

You know the music it's time to dance
Quell the beast while you have a chance
Times running out
Time to take a stance

Running out of time
Got to turn on a dime
Who can say it's sublime
When no one dares make the climb

Weilding the right hand of temptation
And voices that can rally a nation
Conquering caverns where demons do dwell
Blazing angel

Forever watching your back
Don't ever cut them some slack
Everywhere I look everyhings out of whack
Time for us to take over the track

Don't ever back down
Never shy away
It's sink or swim will you just drown
Or fight on through the dawning day

Killing the call of the hero
Fighting til the clock hits zero
No time for fear
Got to do more than just hear
You have to act
Make contact
Watching over where the victorious now sail
Blazing angel

Don't ever bow
Don't ever break
Don't ever look down
For your own sake
Never even once a life should you take
Not even your own that's the cowards way out
Forge your own path
Walk your own route

You have to endure
Of that I am sure
Leave your own mark
And on your own path disembark
Keep the car in gear
Never leave it in park
Continue your own way
There's nothing else to say

Saints and sinners
Losers and winners
Heaven or hell
Forever watched over
Blazing Angel...
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Jun 30, 2010 2:55 am

Holy cell phones! What in the world was this?!?! Amazing! It sounded like a rap to me. Brilliantly styled, and very unusually written. Totally liked readin this Fonny. 'Twas unique... ^_^

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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:29 am

Holy cell phones? surely thats not the best you got?
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:38 am

*Raps song......*

OMG do you know how awesome that sounds?

And yea I agree HOLY CELLPHONES!

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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:46 am

Well I came up with it after listening to eminem, that might have something to do with it
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Jun 30, 2010 8:18 am

Well I suppose but.......lol Holy Cellphones!

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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:01 am

That was awesome alex. Blazing angel? Kinda reminds me of someone in particular. Was this poem written with someone in mind?
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:17 am

A few people actually...
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:18 pm

Hmm.... I wonder which few. Suspect If you would like to woudl you be willing to say?
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PostSubject: Re: Gardie's Poetry   Fri Jul 02, 2010 8:22 pm

That was very interesting Fonny. Liked the rhythm it was the best! Was kinda weird too Razz Oh well all in all I liked it...another awesome piece! cheers Keep posting!
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