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 My IC book 4

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Lone Wolf
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PostSubject: Re: My IC book 4   Sun Mar 28, 2010 3:41 am

Well you still have TIME to think trhis over Remember?

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Mozzie
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PostSubject: Re: My IC book 4   Sun Mar 28, 2010 3:45 am

Oh yes, yes!! Bad GG! Hammer Death
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Sinitar
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PostSubject: Re: My IC book 4   Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:29 pm

It was a pretty good chapter, though you have to pay attention to grammar, punctuation and text structure, basically what gg has told you. Listen to her, for she is wise. The description was nicely done in some areas, though that does not mean you have to ignore it along the way. It was good if you described how the interior of Nasuada's tent looked, what was she wearing, what was Roran wearing. Onto the plot now.

That kid seems to be someone of importance, because not everyone can wield magic. Was it an elven kid? Even if it is highly unlikely, it would be cool. Anyway, it was nice how you described what he encountered along the way, up to the point where he met Saphira.

It's good that you do not put emphasis on Eragon and Saphira mourning their masters. It's boring, and everyone does it. It's really hard to come up with something original, so you might aswell skip it.

Nasuada's plan seems pretty solid. It would be pretty interesting if the idea does not work, and the tunnel is shut or something, just enough to block their way to Belatona and put them in a bad situation. And then, Murtagh comes with a good plan that saves them all. It would be interesting, but don't listen to what I have to say if you do not plan on doing this. Murtagh has yet to break free of Galby's oaths, so he can't really intervene.
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Matt
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PostSubject: Re: My IC book 4   Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:10 am

The description was really good...Although grammar/punctuation and all those things need some work...(I know I do too Rofl )

Like Sinitar said, Nasuada's plan seems solid...Maybe TOO solid if you ask me Razz Make the tunnel collapse on Arya or something lol. That would make Eragon go save her and yadayada...



Matt Ohnoes!
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Lone Wolf
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PostSubject: Re: My IC book 4   Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:39 pm

Thanks for the input guys.
Yes the plan seems like it will work from Nausada's point of View doesn't it?

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PostSubject: Re: My IC book 4   Wed Mar 31, 2010 4:43 pm

Yeeaahh...Pretty much...I do hope it won't work though XD it would be quite interesting...



Matt
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Lone Wolf
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PostSubject: Re: My IC book 4   Mon Apr 12, 2010 6:44 am

EDITED all the spelling mistakes out of Chapter 2.

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PostSubject: Re: My IC book 4   Mon May 24, 2010 11:09 am

Ok update is very short but thought I'd post what I had managed to write, I only write when I am inspired.

------------------------------

Eragon and Saphira left the tent and headed toward there side of the camp, they looked as is they had a lot on their mind as they headed towards a bright sapphire tent.

Eragon asked his friend, 'Saphira would you mind taking Jeod for a ride before we have to leave for this invasion of Belatona? For I have promised him one for telling me of Brom's life before Brom came to Carvahall.'

She responded, ' What? How could you Eragon? My time is my own, not yours to delegate out for pleasure cruises.'

' Yes I know Saphira, however I think Jeod deserves a ride on your back because of the part he played in getting your egg back to the varden.'

' Maybe so but next time you do this I might just dangle you upside down a few hundred feet in the air Eragon.'

' Would you now?' He asked with a grin on his face, silent laughter on his face, he looked at her daring her to do it. She looked back with a uninterested look on her dragonic face, then she took off for the skies grabbing him with her paw, as she flew she dangled him upside down, he screamed, ' Saphira this is not funny!'

' Really Eragon? Your mind tells me you are enjoying flying in midair with no seat.' Saying that she let go of Eragon, sending him hurtling towards the ground.

He screamed, ' Saphira help me or I will be forced to kill myself trying to land!' He hurtled closer to land, coming closer to the ground with each passing moment, he speed up and the made himself ready to stop himself from hitting the ground
He hit the ground with a almighty crunch, being dizzy and unable to focus he saw a blue form descend upon him and carry him away.

'Silly little one.' Saphira thought as she flew onwards to the camp of the Varden.

-----------------------------------

I know it is short and I apologize for the length.

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loveman101
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PostSubject: Re: My IC book 4   Sun May 08, 2011 1:25 am

lalala this work?

Quote :
EDIT: Yes it Worked, However if you could keep to the topic, that would be great.

Thanks.

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My IC book 4

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