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 I thought I'd share it here as well.

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Mozzie
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 17, 2010 11:19 am

You should have made a CnC, not to put question like that. Just saying though.. >:{
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 17, 2010 11:22 am

Sorry.

The poems were ok but it coulda been better if they were jsut a little bit longer.

Off Topic Whats wrong GG?

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Mozzie
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 17, 2010 11:27 am

Longer, longer, longer... >:| it doesn't matter if the poems are short as long as the message are clear, right??!


And you're asking me what's wrong? Well, don't make me tell you. You'll not like the GG you know once I open my mouth and tell what is wrong. >:[
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 17, 2010 11:44 am

Yes I guess the length does not matter.

I will not make you tell me anything but I would like to know what is wrong. I will be on FB and gmail if you want to talk.
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 23, 2010 1:24 pm

Update? Ah whatever...


Don't you just love it
when you wake up in the morn?
With nothing but of thoughts of him?

Don't u just love it
when you eat meals
and you can't think but of him?

Don't you just love it
when everything seems normal?
But deep inside you
you feel like that certain someone
makes you think
everything is Strangely perfect and fine?

Don't you just love it
when you listen to songs?
And the only thing that pops out
are memories of being with him?

Don't you just love it?
When he's here?
And no matter how far
you certainly feel like he's right there?

Don't you just love how he talks?
How he speaks his mind and heart?

Don't you just love how your heart breaks?
When it's time for him to leave?
And you're left there wanting him to come back?
But can't do nothing?

Don't you just live the feeling of incompleteness?
Of emptiness? Of pure sorrow and sadness?

No matter how much you force yourself to smile?
To laugh? To live life as normal as possible?
When the one who completes you are elsewhere?

Don't you just love how he writes poems just for you?
How he transforms his emotions through words?

Don't you just love how he is open and honest?
His sincerity? His devotion?

Don't you just love how every minute you can only think of him?
Him, him, and more him?

Despite all of that, don't you just hate it
when you're waiting whole day?
For him to get on and see his name right there?

Don't you just hate it?
When he's angry not because of me?
But because of people doing such things to me?

Don't you just hate it?
When he's so upset?
Sad and lonely?

Don't you just hate it?
When peope tortures him?
Due to a crime he didn't commit?

Don't I just hate myself?
From thinking too much?

Don't I just hate myself?
From forcing my head to think of something else?
To ease the agony?
The pain I have been feeling?

Don't I just hate myself?
From falling without noticing it?

Don't I just hate myself?
By sleeping at night but really can't?

Don't I just hate myself from doing things?
To try to just get him out of my mind?
Just for that short time to actually think of myself?
And of people around me?

Don't I just hate myself from writing this poem at this very moment?
But gets nothing?

Don't I just hate myself from loving someone?
That lives thousands of miles away?

Don't I just hate myself?
For the hurt that i feel?
Hurt because of the fact
that I know her?

Don't I just hate myself from crying?
Crying for missing you soo much?
Like someone is trying to rip my heart off my chest?
And knowing you won't be here?

Don't I just hate myself from wanting to scream?
And let this all out?

Don't I just hate myself from waiting?
Waiting, waiting and seriously waiting?

Don't I just hate myself from typing words
and can't just stop?
Or I'll break apart?








:'[
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Twin Dagger
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 23, 2010 2:59 pm

GG it is a good poem and I have but one thing to say. FLY FLY FLY!!! that poem makes me see how much you really do miss him and just want to be with him. Fly to ohio and be with him. dont look back just GO!!!
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 24, 2010 10:45 am

Exchange all the him's for her's

And that's how I feel, except I am nowhere near as talented as GG in putting what I feel into words.....

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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 24, 2010 10:46 am

Zach I dont know many people, if any, that are as talented as GG at putting things like that into words.
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:25 pm

-____- I'm so sorry.. In all sincerity, I did that on the spot while my true emotions were kinda paralyzing my senses. >.>if I didn't know how to write poems, I would have gone insane already. (exaggerration but.. *shrugs* ). and I'm not talented, I just wrote what I was feeling.. What I have been feeling... I mean, I feel like I am waiting for thousands of years already but still gets nothing... He's not here and it's been weeks.... :[
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:27 pm

GG you are an amazing poet. The feelings that you put into your poems si what makes them so great. I dont know anyone else that cna put such emotions into words like that.
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:32 pm

-__- I don't know, keith.. But I guess I should say thank you for your feedback. Although, I dot really care much about CnC's atm.. :|
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sun Jul 25, 2010 3:24 am

Ah, very long wasn't it. Unusually put up. Full of questions. But all of them rhetorical. So you were still making your point. Made a nice read...

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Mozzie
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sun Jul 25, 2010 8:57 am

Well... all I can say is thank you for the feedback... *nods* :/
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:02 pm

Wow... if it is one thing I struggle with the most, it is expressing my emotions. How you manage to do that, I really do not know. I quite like the use of rhetorical questions in that poem. It was a very good read.

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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:17 pm

Cold Stinks wrote:
-____- I'm so sorry.. In all sincerity, I did that on the spot while my true emotions were kinda paralyzing my senses. >.>if I didn't know how to write poems, I would have gone insane already. (exaggerration but.. *shrugs* ). and I'm not talented, I just wrote what I was feeling.. What I have been feeling... I mean, I feel like I am waiting for thousands of years already but still gets nothing... He's not here and it's been weeks.... :[
First of all, being able to express emotion in the written word, especially on the spot, is quite a talent. But, regardless, your poem touched me. It really did. It shows the depth of your hurt (no, not hurt, loss, confusion, sadness, worry, even doubt....all in one).

And, I'm sure he's fine. His home situation is not ideal and so, he's probably not had access to a computer for a little while. I'm sure his absence from this forum (and his separation from you) has been gnawing at him just as voraciously as it has been for you.

Rest assured he will be back, of that I have no doubt. When that will be, I do not know. But he will be back.
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Mozzie
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:43 am

@FA: Well, thank you too... Although, I dont really know how to respond to what you just said...Umm, but still, thanks.. :]

@Ali: *sighs* Fine, if its a talent, then so be it..But keep in mind, you do have a talent as well. ;) And Im kinda curious, how did it touch you? Seriously though, I wanna hear what kind of feeling that certain poem made you feel because...like I said, curious.. If you dont mind me asking. Heh. But thank you too.. :]
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Tue Jul 27, 2010 2:57 pm

Cold Stinks wrote:
@Ali: *sighs* Fine, if its a talent, then so be it..But keep in mind, you do have a talent as well. ;) And Im kinda curious, how did it touch you? Seriously though, I wanna hear what kind of feeling that certain poem made you feel because...like I said, curious.. If you dont mind me asking. Heh. But thank you too.. :]

Quote :
Don't I just hate myself from crying?
Crying for missing you soo much?
Like someone is trying to rip my heart off my chest?
And knowing you won't be here?

That verse, in particular really moved me. It speaks to a subtlety in emotion that most people don't realize. When you feel heartbreak it is painful no matter what. However, that pain is greatly exasperated as you realize and, to a degree, accept, that the object of your pain (or affection, same concept) won't be there to help even if you wanted it. What I'm trying to say is that heartbreak is manageable. Helplessness is normal. It's the hopelessness that kills people. The fact you feel hopeless (in regards to him not being around and, frankly, you not being able to do anything about it) is quite indicative of the state of your hurt at the moment.

Overall though, the poem touched me as a true expression of your feelings, not just a lyrical account of your emotions, but a more honest portrayal of your overall state of mind. The realism is what makes the poem powerful.
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Mozzie
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:25 am

O.o oh... Okay.. Anyway, I'm sorry but I don't know what to say to that.. Anyway, let me make this poem now!!! Seriously, I think I need help! D:

tonight with these thoughts,
lingering, waiting and threatening,
without you,
the fear in me is growing.

---

spacious place covered in darkness,
a door covered with thorns awaits her.
overwhelming sense of sorrow,
pulling her closer to its malicious intention.

A door that opens up the vastness of hell,
no one can be the wiser.
Victims have fallen to it's trap,
will they ever get back?

A vicious eyes that looks upon her,
sending chills in the very deepest part of her,
will she succumb?
Or let the good triumphs?

How great the power within her,
the certainty and hope,
for they will win,
and let the door of hell cower.

Such massiveness of her fear,
a particular entity leaving her,
no matter what happens,
she will always be true,
and that she,
with the door that threatens her each night,
will not get her,
for now and forever,
she loves him and that will never change.



I don't know if that makes sense but.... I'm sorry f my poems are kinda negative these days. I think I need help or I'll go crazy from thinking.. :[
like seriously, what is happening to me?!? D:
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:32 am

GG I wish there was a way for me to help you. This is another good poem not because of the theme or anything but because of the feeling and emotions that you portay in it.
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Wed Jul 28, 2010 1:15 pm

Another good read, manly for the same reasons as Keith's. I don't mind if your poems are negative; I think that negative poems have more feeling to them. And I seriously doubt that you will go mad from thinking.

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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Thu Jul 29, 2010 1:58 am

LOL! Hahah....thanks though but I find that poem, the latest one weird, tbh.. I mean, I am happy now! cheers

Again, thank youz! tongue
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:14 am

Very good compositions GG. Good use of words. The metaphors were also very good, and I liked the fact that you did not make it fully symbolic. In the end, you specified the direction. Loved reading. Keep up...

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Mozzie
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:34 am

Lol artrain! Laughing thank yer... C:
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Thu Jul 29, 2010 8:59 pm

Interesting poems GG....could feel the emotion you put in it very well....good word choice too...different from the others you wrote I think... doesnt matter if it is negative or uhh the other kind...just matters that you poured your emotins in it. Good job me shall me waiting for the next update.
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PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:22 am

Oh why thank you my dear CC... Appreciate it.. ;)
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I thought I'd share it here as well.

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