Battle Zone
We think you should log in. Don't you?


This is the site for everything and anything you want to talk about. Want to discuss the latest games? Done. Want to have fun? Done. This is THE place to have a great time.
 
HomePortalFAQMemberlistRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 I thought I'd share it here as well.

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next
AuthorMessage
Great Pharoah Ramses II
Half-Wit Programmer
Half-Wit Programmer
avatar

Join date : 2010-04-13
Posts : 177


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:00 pm

Hmmm.... I wonder. Is there a constant theme here? Razz

Poetry about love is always difficult because while it's easy enough to rant about positivity and emotion, it's much more difficult to maintain a grip on reality and keep your words relating to your audience, who most likely do not currently share your thoughts and experiences on the matter. I thought you accomplished this quite well while also not losing that emotional connection.

My personal favorite was the journal entry poem. I'm not sure why, but that poem felt the most.......carefree. Sometimes poetry sounds like poetry...in the sense that something has been written in poetics simply for the sake of it. Well, that particular entry felt like nothing of the sort to me. It seemed as if poetics was the best possibly explanation of what you were trying to say. It seemed natural and carefree....I hope that helps.

Quite wonderful. And, quite diverse as well. I am very impressed with the breadth of your poetry...always a good sign. Razz
Back to top Go down
http://www.schoolsforhumanity.org
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:07 pm

'"Always a good sign."? Hmmm.... And wat do you mean by that, Ali? Suspect

jk... But thank you though. =]
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Great Pharoah Ramses II
Half-Wit Programmer
Half-Wit Programmer
avatar

Join date : 2010-04-13
Posts : 177


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:08 pm

huh? Oh. lol. No, I meant your ability to write about such varying topics is always a good sign. Not the fact that I'm impressed by it Razz

Although.... lol
Back to top Go down
http://www.schoolsforhumanity.org
Sinitar
Discussions Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Discussions Moderator

Posts : 218


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:34 pm

That someone is indeed special. I would feel overwhelmed if I was to receive such a beautiful poem from another special person Smile It truly shows the bond between two people using a very nice mix of words and well placed emotions, and it also reflects the reality a little, since you have integrated the suffering and sadness in it, something that a person cannot evade in life. What really matters is how you overcome the bad moments, and having someone to help you that is as caring as the person in your poem is, them I'm sure that nothing is impossible.
Back to top Go down
Old Amsterdam
Bow Before Thy Master
Bow Before Thy Master
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Head Admin / Site Owner

Posts : 7269


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:56 pm

Sinitar wrote:
That someone is indeed special. I would feel overwhelmed if I was to receive such a beautiful poem from another special person Smile It truly shows the bond between two people using a very nice mix of words and well placed emotions, and it also reflects the reality a little, since you have integrated the suffering and sadness in it, something that a person cannot evade in life. What really matters is how you overcome the bad moments, and having someone to help you that is as caring as the person in your poem is, them I'm sure that nothing is impossible.

O.o <--is all I say to that.

Anyways...
I don't know what to say about the poem...I'm at a complete lost. I liked it though.

_________________
As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

Back to top Go down
http://battlezone.forumotion.net/
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Tue Jun 29, 2010 3:55 am

Ahh.... Lost?? >.> I hope you're not lost as in lost ,Shane. Anyway, I'm so glad you liked it. :]
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Sinitar
Discussions Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Discussions Moderator

Posts : 218


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:35 am

Ehh...Shane, why did you quote my post? Giorgia, if you want, I can also critique it, that was my opinion about it.
Back to top Go down
Artrain
Eternally lazy
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-22
Rank : Admin of Personnel

Posts : 1071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:34 am

Cold Stinks wrote:

And thank you too Mr. Artrain.... big A! tongue
Not as big as Big G :O Worship

Sinitar wrote:
Ehh...Shane, why did you quote my post?
Because your post made him go O.o Razz

_________________
Wake me up when you find some sense.
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Tue Jun 29, 2010 1:03 pm

Artrain wrote:

Not as big as Big G :O Worship
Heh?? XD XD XD

Sinitar wrote:
Quote :
Ehh...Shane, why did you quote my post?
Because your post made him go O.o Razz
Umm.... I don't know too, really... He's speechless, I guess... XD

EDIT: Of course, Gabriel, CnC are always appreciated.. :D
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Old Amsterdam
Bow Before Thy Master
Bow Before Thy Master
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Head Admin / Site Owner

Posts : 7269


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Tue Jun 29, 2010 4:45 pm

Artrain wrote:
Cold Stinks wrote:

And thank you too Mr. Artrain.... big A! tongue
Not as big as Big G :O Worship

Sinitar wrote:
Ehh...Shane, why did you quote my post?
Because your post made him go O.o Razz

That is correct. The post make me go "O.o"

_________________
As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

Back to top Go down
http://battlezone.forumotion.net/
Lone Wolf
I am such a post-wh*re and I am proud of it.
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-09
Rank : Technical Admin / Webmaster

Posts : 2523


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:29 am

This one just umm....... eh....... Me.... Cant say it.............

*Takes Deep Breath* It made me......... Meh Even Deep breathes don't work........

*Strengthens mindset of unable to feel* It made me Cry O.o I actually managed to say it?

Seriously this Poem is Peerless.

_________________
There are so many people out there who say, "You can't."
What you have to do is turn around and say, "Watch me."
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:53 am

Fallen Rage wrote:
This one just umm....... eh....... Me.... Cant say it.............

*Takes Deep Breath* It made me......... Meh Even Deep breathes don't work........

*Strengthens mindset of unable to feel* It made me Cry O.o I actually managed to say it?

Seriously this Poem is Peerless.
O__O You think so, Zach? :O Eehh, well, I can't blame you. I mean, that is what I have been feeling, you know. Err..so, yeah. XD
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Lone Wolf
I am such a post-wh*re and I am proud of it.
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-09
Rank : Technical Admin / Webmaster

Posts : 2523


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:01 am

Yes I know, I sort.......... Meh, take the whole post as what I think of it, that was what it was meant to come across as.

_________________
There are so many people out there who say, "You can't."
What you have to do is turn around and say, "Watch me."
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:40 am

So.... update.. :-) >.<



CHILD

The day I saw daylight,
covered with bloody red outside.
A hand so firm,
caressed my body that was so thin.

Lungs being drowned by air,
ears trying to prevent the strange voice.
With all the safety,
I knew I was just a burden,
for them to bear without a choice.

I had promised,
with the little strenght I had before,
that either you or me,
won't have to resist it all.

Weakness for me, I called.
Pain it brings, I crawled.
It'll be fine, was what I kept on hold.
With whatever reason,
I knew deep down,
I will always be the pain of old.


Umm...so, yeah.. Short but..ah well... Btw, a song inspired me to write that in case you we're wondering. =)
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Artrain
Eternally lazy
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-22
Rank : Admin of Personnel

Posts : 1071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:57 am

Very unusual theme Giorgia. The song must have been inspirational for you to make such a beautiful poem out of it. Its great to see that you are drawing ideas from outside as well, and not just from within your own thoughts. I think this is one of your best written works. Loved reading it. The conclusion was also very good. Keep writing...

_________________
Wake me up when you find some sense.
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 02, 2010 6:06 am

Hehe.. Thank you artrain. Appreciate it. And well.. Songs do inspire me too, but not that often. I guess THIS song was just too good for me.. Ehh.. :]
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Lone Wolf
I am such a post-wh*re and I am proud of it.
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-09
Rank : Technical Admin / Webmaster

Posts : 2523


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 02, 2010 6:58 am

Meh if you had a chorus it would be a song, WELL DONE!

_________________
There are so many people out there who say, "You can't."
What you have to do is turn around and say, "Watch me."
Back to top Go down
Twin Dagger
Chatz Master
Chatz Master
avatar

Join date : 2010-04-04
Rank : Ex staff

Posts : 2192


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 02, 2010 9:04 am

It was good but to me it seemed like somethign was missing at the end. Not sure what it just almost didnt seem like it was finished. Even that said though it is still a great poem.
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:37 am

@ZACH: LOL, a song? XD

@Keith: Hmmm, maybe because it was short, no? But thanks to both of you. Smile
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Thorned Hope
I Like Cheese
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-19
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 1798


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 02, 2010 8:29 pm

Thats was great GG! Of course the others already commented to bet you already know that. If I may ask..what song exactly inspired this piece? Well done keep updating!
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 03, 2010 2:25 am

Oh why thank you, CC. ANd as for the song? Umm, two of them.. One was me and my guitar by Tom DIce and True by Ryan Cabrera. I dunno if you know them both but those are good songs. They are both an acoustic songs, btw. ;)
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 16, 2010 1:59 pm

Well, yeah... update.. *shrugs*


A short poem I composed last night after I found out about it.

A stone that hits the very core of her, leaving nothing but worry and love.
Two things she knew deep down,
are what's eating her insides..



^ My current state of mind last night... I had to express it... :/

I have to find a way..or.... Crying or Very sad

*The happiness has vanished,
leaving a handicapped mind
and a diseased heart.


*If I knew this would happen,
the hands of sorrow,
crippling my mind.
All that occupies,
is a heart full of black liquid.

A certain dark object,
got stolen but has the essence of stupidity.
Fragile, vulnerable, weak..
It's just bittersweet.


^ CUrrent state of me and I don't care what you think... Last night was nothing compare to how I am feeling atm...


Last edited by Cold Stinks on Fri Jul 16, 2010 2:06 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Im sooooooooooooo HURT. :'[)
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Artrain
Eternally lazy
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-22
Rank : Admin of Personnel

Posts : 1071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Fri Jul 16, 2010 2:54 pm

*sighs* Very well written GG. Pure feelings. I'm glad you used them to compose these works. Hope it helped at least a bit...

_________________
Wake me up when you find some sense.
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 17, 2010 2:02 am

Helped?? You gotta be kidding!! It didn't help at all!! I'm so F****** pissed, hurt.. So consciously worried, Artrain.. I'm sooooo like wanting to just be left alone! How much I'd like to say I'm not depressed but everyday without knowing nothing. Of what is happening, of how he's doing, if he's still okay.. WTF!? did I do??? Cant you guys just understand that?? Seriously, if you think I'm not serious, then you better just shut up or I might kill you.. I'm so f****** hurt and I feel so utterly lost! Crying or Very sad

There, that's my reply. Next update? I don't know... And I don't really care..
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Twin Dagger
Chatz Master
Chatz Master
avatar

Join date : 2010-04-04
Rank : Ex staff

Posts : 2192


PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   Sat Jul 17, 2010 11:15 am

GG what happened?
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: I thought I'd share it here as well.   

Back to top Go down
 

I thought I'd share it here as well.

View previous topic View next topic Back to top 

 Similar topics

-
» Time Share Car
» A Morbid thought
» Share dem guild cards!
» Raider thought
» Thoughts on Difficulty
Page 4 of 7Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Battle Zone :: Works by Members :: Writers Hangout :: Poems-
Jump to: