Battle Zone
We think you should log in. Don't you?


This is the site for everything and anything you want to talk about. Want to discuss the latest games? Done. Want to have fun? Done. This is THE place to have a great time.
 
HomePortalFAQMemberlistRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Nap's works

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2, 3  Next
AuthorMessage
Naptime
Book Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Book Section Moderator

Posts : 141


PostSubject: Nap's works   Mon May 10, 2010 1:55 am

well as it turns out i do write on occasion =x hope you like em :o

The Moving:

A lands so ancient and fair
gone, revealing my despair


a wanderers life to never find
a eternity, now forever blind.


the singing wind to your ear
lost, for new untold fear




where is the land of old
why now a sea of cold


---------------------


answers lost are never found
whispers fading to not a sound


the winds have died and gone still
the waters froze with disturbing chill


people dieing from not one cause
forgotten are relics, like the cross


--------------------------------


shaking and swaying our towers fall
seemingly killing us all


where are we, to herd together so
on the wind, forgotten words of woe


our world is gone now and forever.
and effort now, a worthless endeavor.


scavengers are always prowling
daemonic beasts savage growling


--------------------------------


fields covered in fresh mounds
dirt sprinkled judiciously on the ground


this is our final place
a horrible and sad disgrace


now our story is all but done
our final days have now come
Back to top Go down
Naptime
Book Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Book Section Moderator

Posts : 141


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Mon May 10, 2010 1:58 am

A Dreary Dream:

dejectedly a man walked through a ruined utopia
not seeing anything normal, only in sepia

painfully, he longed for what had gone ahead
joyfully, he looked back...silently he bled.

false lights, fake hopes countlessly appeared
now, he hides, it is the light he fears

all his memories he is afraid to lose
because of past and present he must choose

hiding in what was, long for long ago
he looks up, hoping for the falling of new snow

mistaken once again, he wonders why he must always fail
each time, a strike to the heart, hammering nail after nail

finally when his body gives out, he grins
gone is his pain, only the gentlest pricking of pins

wistfully, he looks back at his life, of what he could of had
and what he sees is pathetic, really just sad

accepting his passing, he closes his eyes in rest
and to his horror, he awakes in the morn, like a troublesome pest

he will not die, no matter how much he strives
for it seems, he has over nine thousand lives

death after death he carries forward and far
as everyday passes he adds another scar.

over time emotions fade and he becomes apathetic
because wasting time on others just feels so pathetic

thinking back, and wondering, why?
he realizes not once did he cry.

so weep he did, right then and there
he attracted gazes, but he did not care

then it hit him, like a sack of lead
he opened his eyes and raised his head

because then he thought so clear and true
that happiness and sorrow is up to you

whats done is done, you cant change it
just smile, move on and and never forget
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Mon May 10, 2010 2:20 am

Awesome Nap!! I like all of them but my favourite is the long one. Keep writing dude. XD
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Old Amsterdam
Bow Before Thy Master
Bow Before Thy Master
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Head Admin / Site Owner

Posts : 7269


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Mon May 10, 2010 3:18 am

Yeah, those are some really great poems. The long one appealed to me the most, because of what it said and everything. But like I said, they're all really great poems. You definitely need to keep writing.

_________________
As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

Back to top Go down
http://battlezone.forumotion.net/
Naptime
Book Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Book Section Moderator

Posts : 141


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Wed May 12, 2010 10:16 am

On Wings:

Soaring high on wings unspoken
the man below; battered and broken

left alone and in pain
all his attemps are in vain

why he tries we dont know
but his blood stains the snow

left alone in eternal darkness
he considers it now, eternal bliss

blinding headaches now gone
for he has finally moved on

now when he lays to rest
he can say he had tried his best

what he wants is a chance to soar
but we all know thatll be nevermore
Back to top Go down
Naptime
Book Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Book Section Moderator

Posts : 141


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Fri May 14, 2010 9:30 am

A midnight mirage:

Chasing after what isnt real
why is it this i must feel

the desire to obtain what isnt there
the pain it brings isnt fair

chasing a ghost that never was never alive
although stupid, its for this goal i strive

I have spilled my blood sweat and tears
so that i may put a stop to all my fears

to be able to rest and dream
a goal so far away i want to scream
-----------------------------------------------
Shadows always creeping closer
My desires getting further and further

I close my eyes and try to remember why
with a realization I realize i cant; I cry
---------------------------------------------------
Falling through my own levels of hell
wandering through an ancient spell

My memories and pain are wiped clean
hidden and quiet as a winter stream

My goals are gone now, i took to long
I guess its time to give into the siren song

leading myself to my end
i meet those whom i wanted to defend

memories slowly return, and I see
I realize that I can now be free

leaving worries behind I feel as if i can fly
im guessing this is what it means to die

fading quick, fading fast
i accept my regrettable past
Back to top Go down
Artrain
Eternally lazy
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-22
Rank : Admin of Personnel

Posts : 1071


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Fri May 14, 2010 11:58 am

Naptime wrote:
well as it turns out i do write on occasion =x hope you like em :o

The Moving:

A lands so ancient and fair
gone, revealing my despair


a wanderers life to never find
a eternity, now forever blind.


the singing wind to your ear
lost, for new untold fear




where is the land of old
why now a sea of cold


---------------------


answers lost are never found
whispers fading to not a sound


the winds have died and gone still
the waters froze with disturbing chill


people dieing from not one cause
forgotten are relics, like the cross


--------------------------------


shaking and swaying our towers fall
seemingly killing us all


where are we, to herd together so
on the wind, forgotten words of woe


our world is gone now and forever.
and effort now, a worthless endeavor.


scavengers are always prowling
daemonic beasts savage growling


--------------------------------


fields covered in fresh mounds
dirt sprinkled judiciously on the ground


this is our final place
a horrible and sad disgrace


now our story is all but done
our final days have now come

Alright, ima bit late, but I'm going to go through all these. First one's first. Very unique. Felt like reading poetry from long time ago. It was incredible. The words used, the pictures created, all felt like images of the past. Great work Nap, not many people can write like this. Totally liked reading this...

_________________
Wake me up when you find some sense.
Back to top Go down
Moon Called
FRESH MEAT
avatar

Join date : 2010-05-13
Posts : 2


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Fri May 14, 2010 12:06 pm

Jimmeh. Your noob. JK, your not noob at this. Just at being pro. You did roll a one after all.
Back to top Go down
http://Myspace.com/silentwolfgrr
Artrain
Eternally lazy
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-22
Rank : Admin of Personnel

Posts : 1071


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Fri May 14, 2010 12:18 pm

Naptime wrote:
A Dreary Dream:

dejectedly a man walked through a ruined utopia
not seeing anything normal, only in sepia

painfully, he longed for what had gone ahead
joyfully, he looked back...silently he bled.

false lights, fake hopes countlessly appeared
now, he hides, it is the light he fears

all his memories he is afraid to lose
because of past and present he must choose

hiding in what was, long for long ago
he looks up, hoping for the falling of new snow

mistaken once again, he wonders why he must always fail
each time, a strike to the heart, hammering nail after nail

finally when his body gives out, he grins
gone is his pain, only the gentlest pricking of pins

wistfully, he looks back at his life, of what he could of had
and what he sees is pathetic, really just sad

accepting his passing, he closes his eyes in rest
and to his horror, he awakes in the morn, like a troublesome pest

he will not die, no matter how much he strives
for it seems, he has over nine thousand lives

death after death he carries forward and far
as everyday passes he adds another scar.

over time emotions fade and he becomes apathetic
because wasting time on others just feels so pathetic

thinking back, and wondering, why?
he realizes not once did he cry.

so weep he did, right then and there
he attracted gazes, but he did not care

then it hit him, like a sack of lead
he opened his eyes and raised his head

because then he thought so clear and true
that happiness and sorrow is up to you

whats done is done, you cant change it
just smile, move on and and never forget

Wow another good one. Rhyming and rhythm seems to come naturally to you. It did not once seem to hinder the meaning of the poem. The flow is also very good. Best thing about your poems is that they are vague to a certain extent. You point the direction the poem is going into, but you leave it to the reader to take what he can through use of lots of figures of speech. This one particularly seemed allegorical. Keep up...

_________________
Wake me up when you find some sense.
Back to top Go down
Naptime
Book Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Book Section Moderator

Posts : 141


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Sat May 15, 2010 10:04 pm

soaring over the ocean blue
the crow hunts the wiley shrew

hither and thither, back and forth
eventually the trail leads north

as the day went on what did he see?
the shrew, sitting there, with his heirloom key

with a cry the crow landed and said
give me my key or ill eat your eyes with bread

the shrew turned, grinned and laughed
im afraid you're going to have to catch me for that

the shrew took off and so did the crow
as their game went on, another began to follow

it was the bear freshly awoken and ready to snap
for shrew and crow had woken him from his morning nap

with a roar,he launched himself through the air
missing pranksters both, by a hair

with a shout crow grabbed shrew and took the sky
for he knew neither of them wanted to die

prey gone, bear headed home, to nap anew
dreams he longed for, those far and few

meanwhile crow said give me the key, while in the air
the shrew, quite frightened said thats no fair

land soon and ill see what i can do
maybe just maybe this key will be for you

so lower crow went, keeping his grip tight
for soon shrew would try to resume his "flight"

as he landed with speed and grace
shrew wiggled free and landed on his face

dropping the key, both stopped dead
for who had caught it to fill them with dread

it was the clever and sneaky raccoon
who ran off saying "see ya soon"

thus the pursuit began again
this one though, shall never end
Back to top Go down
Old Amsterdam
Bow Before Thy Master
Bow Before Thy Master
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Head Admin / Site Owner

Posts : 7269


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Sun May 16, 2010 1:46 am

O.o

You have a way with telling the story like I've rarely seen for a younger writer...

_________________
As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

Back to top Go down
http://battlezone.forumotion.net/
Lone Wolf
I am such a post-wh*re and I am proud of it.
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-09
Rank : Technical Admin / Webmaster

Posts : 2523


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Sun May 16, 2010 7:27 am

Ok Guys, here is something I am getting fed up with so I thought I'd mention it.

Sure give C&C, but could you please stop quoting entire Poems?, especially as Naps ones are so long?

My reasoning is, my broadband is running out of data and loading that just uses more and more data up each time. And mum and dad are getting fed up with me using so much data.

Right Rant over, if you guys don't follow this it is fine, but please either just say which Poems you are talking about in your post. Or just don't listen to me.

Anyway Nap, you have some real good work here, I will get around to CandC when I get a chance, so keep going bro this is awe inspiring work!

_________________
There are so many people out there who say, "You can't."
What you have to do is turn around and say, "Watch me."
Back to top Go down
Artrain
Eternally lazy
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-22
Rank : Admin of Personnel

Posts : 1071


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Mon May 17, 2010 7:38 am

Naptime wrote:
On Wings:

Soaring high on wings unspoken
the man below; battered and broken

left alone and in pain
all his attemps are in vain

why he tries we dont know
but his blood stains the snow

left alone in eternal darkness
he considers it now, eternal bliss

blinding headaches now gone
for he has finally moved on

now when he lays to rest
he can say he had tried his best

what he wants is a chance to soar
but we all know thatll be nevermore
Another allegorical composition. Short, but meaningful. Nice rhyming as always, makes your poems seem much lighter than they actually are.

Naptime wrote:
A midnight mirage:

Chasing after what isnt real
why is it this i must feel

the desire to obtain what isnt there
the pain it brings isnt fair

chasing a ghost that never was never alive
although stupid, its for this goal i strive

I have spilled my blood sweat and tears
so that i may put a stop to all my fears

to be able to rest and dream
a goal so far away i want to scream
-----------------------------------------------
Shadows always creeping closer
My desires getting further and further

I close my eyes and try to remember why
with a realization I realize i cant; I cry
---------------------------------------------------
Falling through my own levels of hell
wandering through an ancient spell

My memories and pain are wiped clean
hidden and quiet as a winter stream

My goals are gone now, i took to long
I guess its time to give into the siren song

leading myself to my end
i meet those whom i wanted to defend

memories slowly return, and I see
I realize that I can now be free

leaving worries behind I feel as if i can fly
im guessing this is what it means to die

fading quick, fading fast
i accept my regrettable past
I liked the theme of this one very much, and also how you wrote it out. It had your usual signature of archaic poetry, the metaphors were very good again, overall quite wonderfully composed...

_________________
Wake me up when you find some sense.
Back to top Go down
Naptime
Book Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Book Section Moderator

Posts : 141


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Mon May 17, 2010 8:17 am

:O thanks, ill keep writing (and putting up the random poems i write and put away....somewhere) should have more soon
Back to top Go down
Artrain
Eternally lazy
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-22
Rank : Admin of Personnel

Posts : 1071


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Tue May 18, 2010 12:02 pm

Demon Hunter wrote:
Ok Guys, here is something I am getting fed up with so I thought I'd mention it.

Sure give C&C, but could you please stop quoting entire Poems?, especially as Naps ones are so long?

My reasoning is, my broadband is running out of data and loading that just uses more and more data up each time. And mum and dad are getting fed up with me using so much data.

Right Rant over, if you guys don't follow this it is fine, but please either just say which Poems you are talking about in your post. Or just don't listen to me.

Anyway Nap, you have some real good work here, I will get around to CandC when I get a chance, so keep going bro this is awe inspiring work!
Oh sorry. Meh didn't see that SBF. You might want to just turn the images off though. They are the real culprits in downloading data...

_________________
Wake me up when you find some sense.
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Sat May 22, 2010 1:40 am

Awesome poems Nap! Jeez, I missed heaps. >.> Anyway, very nice wrk you have there dude. I can't really choose whats best because for me, they're all great! Keep your poems coming Nap! I look forward to it. ^^
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Naptime
Book Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Book Section Moderator

Posts : 141


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Sun May 23, 2010 1:02 pm

walking down the dream road
there are many sites for me to behold

adventures that i will never see
friends and enemies i will never meet

lost am i in this world of woe
helpless and miserable i know

stumbling deaf and blind
i hope for even one light to shine

left dying and alone
i fade, my figure prone

into the land of make believe
i gain rest and repreive

ending up in the land of dreams
i shall not wake this time, it seems

eternal adventures and horrors arent so bad
if you hated your last life like i had
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Sun May 23, 2010 11:02 pm

O.o Dude, that's Epic !!!! Nice imagery and the message is really clear! Hmm...Now I wonder, what inspired you to compose this? xD
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Naptime
Book Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Book Section Moderator

Posts : 141


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Wed Jun 02, 2010 8:43 am

A Broken Reality:
My misery is ever near
as I have every right to fear

embarking on this lonely beaten path
taking without crying the full of their wrath

after all it was my fault that this came to be
for paying you attention instead of me

now you're where you should be and im in the rain
you should see now that im in unmeasurable pain

not one day has passed that my affection stopped growing
my only regret i have is that it is something i should be showing

my only hope now is to go my own way
seeing as i gave up my place to stay

i stand at the edge of a cliff...then fall to the sky
hoping somehow/someday ill have my own wings to fly

maybe then and only then i can say how i had felt
how i had wanted to be a knight where at your side i knelt

nothing can be done now though, whats done is done
and to find your place, with any help, your a lucky one

well i must admit, i am pretty tired
too late to get worked up and fired

yes i know i sound complacent, like a sheep
ill leave that to you, but for now...i sleep
Back to top Go down
Mozzie
OHNOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 5071


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Thu Jun 03, 2010 2:43 am

Worship That was MARVELOUS dude! I liked it! I liked the rythmn, the message and the way the words rhymed. It wasnt forced, which confirms that you are a natural poet. ;)
Back to top Go down
http://www.wkyc.com/weather/severe_weather/cancellations_closing
Artrain
Eternally lazy
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-22
Rank : Admin of Personnel

Posts : 1071


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Tue Jun 08, 2010 3:31 pm

Yup, a touch of allegory as always, and that of an archaic style, which I believe is what makes your works unique. Loved reading those two. Imagery in the former one was well done, and the message in the latter one was also well conveyed...

_________________
Wake me up when you find some sense.
Back to top Go down
Old Amsterdam
Bow Before Thy Master
Bow Before Thy Master
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Head Admin / Site Owner

Posts : 7269


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:54 pm

I have to agree with Ar. The bits of allegory and just the way you write them makes your poetry stand out really well. I loved 'em.

_________________
As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

Back to top Go down
http://battlezone.forumotion.net/
Naptime
Book Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Book Section Moderator

Posts : 141


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Wed Jun 16, 2010 1:00 am

Broken Dawn:
Walking down a forest path
we ignore the spirits wrath

ignoring their pain as we take them under
whilst their precious homes are torn asunder

few notice our evil and true desire
masked in the glow of the growing fire

howls of anguish fill the air
homes gone, spirits despair

leaving the darkness on a path of light
us few know soon we will have to fight

a battle with the world, who sees us mad
to reclaim the power this place once had

earth flowing around me with spiritual glee
as i fight to save the spirits, to make them free

our strength they call evil, some sort of trick
while we all know that this is known as true magick

with the earth at our feet and fire in our eyes
we all fight, but refuse to end those we despise

for what good would that be, to become what we hate
it would erase our work, blank as a slate

now, it is the end, the final battle is near
our boots shake in anticipation, theirs with fear

on this broken dawn we sound our mourning call
for we decided, in this battle we shall fall
Back to top Go down
Artrain
Eternally lazy
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-22
Rank : Admin of Personnel

Posts : 1071


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:14 am

Wow unusual ending. Good descriptions you have made. The rhyming is something that seems to come very naturally to you, so it was great. Been a long time Nap. Great to read from you again...

_________________
Wake me up when you find some sense.
Back to top Go down
Naptime
Book Moderator
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-10
Rank : Book Section Moderator

Posts : 141


PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   Sun Jun 20, 2010 7:24 pm

thanks for the comments :o in all honesty I never really had any faith in my poetry before, but after posting it on a few sites i'm gonna have to say i'm not as bad as I had thought...xP
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Nap's works   

Back to top Go down
 

Nap's works

View previous topic View next topic Back to top 

 Similar topics

-
» RR WORKS PLZ TELL WOLFY!
» Basic Information How Cellphone Works?
» Anand: How memory works in chess
» How hr works.
» Grand Master conversion.
Page 1 of 3Go to page : 1, 2, 3  Next

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Battle Zone :: Works by Members :: Writers Hangout :: Poems-
Jump to: