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 poems by lady blood

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Lady Blood
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PostSubject: poems by lady blood   Mon May 10, 2010 10:54 am

white demon

deep in the shadow of the night
he sits still as stone
watching and waiting for midnight to come
he never acts before the hour
the clock strikes 12 as the moon lights his way
he creeps to the window that's always open
there she lies peaceful in sleep
he moves with practiced steps and quick hands
she is silenced before she can scream
he bites her slender neck
and all too soon the blood runs out
out the window into shadows again he goes
leaving her looking like she was dreaming
until the moring comes when she is found
but it will be too late
he will be long gone.
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Mozzie
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Mon May 10, 2010 10:59 am

OMG!!! WHy did I imagine Edward Cullen biting Bella in that poem? O.O
Anyhow, that is a good poem LB!! The imagery is good so as the flow of the words. The only flaw I found is the lack of proper use of punctuations and such but overall, it is really a good poem. Keep writing girl. ^^;
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Old Amsterdam
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Mon May 10, 2010 1:41 pm

Yeah, I'd have to agree with Janelle. Throw in some punctuation into it, and you've got 1 hell of a poem.

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Artrain
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Mon May 10, 2010 3:13 pm

Well LB, this is definitely a nice one you've written here. Very good imagery you got going. The flow of the poem was good. It made a effective light read which I definitely enjoyed doing.

And Rain's suggestion is right. Punctuation marks help in the rhythm of the poem. You can give short pause, long pause, break the rhythm completely if you want by using coma, semi-colons, and full-stops wherever necessary. They don't do much, but that way your poem is one step closer to being perfect.

Anyways, thanks for putting it up. Really, I hope you try writing more poems again sometime. You are clearly good at it...

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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Tue May 11, 2010 4:36 pm

Cool poem! The imagery and flow was good but it could do with a bit of punctuation. I quite liked it. You should write some more poems.

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Lady Blood
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Sat May 29, 2010 12:18 am

the heart and mind

Love and logic are not fair
Love and logic are quite a pair,
they fight and fight
about what's true and right,
but neither bow to the others might.
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Sat May 29, 2010 7:48 am

Lol, that was good. Enjoyed the rhyming. I think the poem is somewhat true though. tongue
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:30 am

LOL... short but to the POINT! Very well-thought Sam! Keep writing because I am waiting... xD
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Lady Blood
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Fri Jun 04, 2010 8:35 pm

lol thanks and i will keep writing i just have to wait for it to come to me>
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Sat Jun 05, 2010 7:24 am

The first one had some very....interesting imagery, it was pretty good.

The second one I like better, it sounds like something I would have written. Razz
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Artrain
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Tue Jun 08, 2010 3:34 pm

*laughs* Nice one that. Love and logic. Well, it was great to hear your thoughts on the matter... Smile

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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Sat Jul 17, 2010 11:58 am

These are very good. I hope you do some more.
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Lady Blood
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:50 am

Autumn



Fall has come
summer has gone.
taking the warmth
and leaving thecold.
The rain rolls in
as the sun rolls out.
Bringing death and decay
for months to come.
But in the mists of it all
fall brings the most color
out of them all.
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:04 am

O.o that was great, Sam! Haha I liked it like I really, really liked it. Short and very true. Lol good job! :D
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Artrain
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Wed Sep 15, 2010 4:30 pm

Yup, I liked it too. You kept it just as big as was necessary, to the point, and effective. Keep writing...

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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:05 pm

That was great indeed. Truely a good poem. Keep it up.
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:59 pm

I like it Smile Make more.
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Lady Blood
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:14 pm

Spring time

Growing and turning beneath the snow
brusting out in a sea of green.
Creeping up in the trees and
casting off the chill in the air.
The sun fights back the clouds
bringing in warmth and blinding
the gray with soft warm light.
Waking the earth as spring comes
again breathing life once more.
Birds break out in song and take flight
as blue returns to the sky and green to the fields.
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Sat Feb 12, 2011 2:00 am

Very nice imagery you got going there. Wonderful to read. Smile

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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Sat Feb 12, 2011 11:42 pm

Nice word choices to paint a good picture, now if only that picture in my head would make its way out and become real.
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Lady Blood
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Sat Feb 12, 2011 11:52 pm

yeah hopefully i will have more poems on here soon. they just randomly pop in my head so who knows.
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PostSubject: Re: poems by lady blood   Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:38 am

I think the people above me posted everything that makes sense for what I think of the poem. I liked it.

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poems by lady blood

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