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 A few Tid Bits from my manuscript

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PostSubject: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:11 am

* * * *

Jared woke up in the dark. Was it night? Or was he just in a dark room. He struggled feebly against the ropes he felt tying his arms and legs, he tried to shout but found that he was gagged as well. A single tear slid down his cheek, hot. Why? Why would Ela do this? She should know that it was too dangerous for her!
He started struggling harder agaisnt the bonds holding him, but to no avail, suddenly he heard something outside. Maybe it was an Elf! He hoped it was so he would be let free and could go after Ela. The door opened and he slid down to the ground. He did not know he had been standing!
Ela, stood in front of him, he saw the sadness in her eyes. "Jared I am so sorry." She said quickly, she then bent and pulled the gag off and left it around his neck. "I truly am, Jared, but I have to go and protect him, he is my Brother...I hope you understand and will forgive me with time..." Tears began forming in her eyes, and one slipped down her flawless cheek.
He struggled slightly, before saying anything. "Ela...Please don't do this!" he then said quickly, and tried to stand again, but the cursed ropes held him tight, and kept him from being able to get up. "I cannot let you go out there unprotected...I...I love you!" And tears began to flow down his own cheeks, they felt hot each one seeming to burn his skin like a hot iron, but he ignored them.
"Jared please don't...You know it would never work...I want you to be happy and I know that you would never be happy if we got married, we are just really good friends...Go and find someone better. Please do not feel sad..." She began to wipe tears away with her sleeve.
Each word hurt like a dagger going through his heart. "Please do not say that, Ela! Please stay..." He closed his eyes to keep more tears from forming and struggled as hard as he could with the tight ropes that held his hands tight. Maybe if he could just get free he could convince her!
"I am so sorry Jared but I cannot." He opened his eyes again to look at her and stopped struggling. "Please Ela." he said with a new wave of tears sliding down his cheeks.
She got down on her knees and, stared at him for a second. "I hope you will find someone better than me and forget about me." She then suddenly bent forward and Kissed him on the lips for a long second, her tears slid onto his cheeks, icy compared to his, her hands went around his waist and she hugged him tightly for a minute, though it felt like only a second then sat back. "Here read this later, Jared." She reached into a pocket and pulled out a letter, then carefully put it in his pocket. "I am so sorry...Good bye." She then stood and left him in the room by himself.
Tears flowed down his cheeks unchecked now. Why? Was he not good enough for her? He ignored the tears that streamed down his cheeks and fell onto his shirt, he just wanted to know why they could not love each other...
He tried once more to get out of the ropes and failed...Darkness seemed to surround him then everything went black.
* * * *




Ok well yeah this is a small part that I found really...emotional for me anyway.

Ummm I hope you like it and yeah please ignore the grammar Chaos -___- it was also messed up a little when I copied and pasted it.

Ok well hope you like it Smile
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:13 am

It also resized it for some reason -____- and did not indent for some reason
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:38 am

O.o I don't kmow what to critic ATM, really but update soon! Lol xD
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:43 am

I know it seems really sad at this part...to me anyway, Ummm it will make sense later if I get my book published... They really are not meant for eachother

And what do you mean you do not know what to critic? Suspect Was it good? did it Suck? Badly?
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:51 am

Nope. It's good, actually but it's just the start so, yea. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:54 am

This is not the beginning of it, it is actually near the middle of the manuscript, it is just kinda a turning point in eveyrthing....
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Wed Sep 29, 2010 7:59 pm

Even with the Writer's Hangout Double Post Exception, that one was against the rules TBF Smile You can only double post if you're posting another update XD

First, It would be awesome if you could put the default writing and size please...It's easier for the eyes, and space out the paragraphs, it eases the eyes too Smile Like GG said, since it's the first of your writing, we'll have to wait to acknowledge your writing style before critiquing it XD
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Wed Sep 29, 2010 8:31 pm

TBF, it is quite likely that we will not be able to acquire a copy of this book.

Would you mind actually putting it up here once the book is published?

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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Thu Sep 30, 2010 1:05 am

Sure I would once I get it finished and published!

And ok Matt, my bad.
On the font size and all the I just copied and pasted it, so I have no idea why it blew it up like that -___- And it also did not indent properly >.<
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:40 am

Oh BTW TBF.... I fixed the font size for you.

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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Sat Dec 11, 2010 1:02 am

Jared ran up the spiraling staircase, as fast as he could, not even stopping as his sides began to burn terribly. Hot tears, ran down his face. Where had those come from? He thought angrily, he never cried! He brushed at them quickly with his sleeve, still ignoring his aching sides.

He ran up another complete spiral and ran into, Ela, as she walked quickly around the corner knocking them both down. "Jared! Why did you do that?" She said angrily, and pushed him off of her. "You could try to walk like normal folks..." She said teasingly, the anger now out of her voice.

"Odin is gone." Jared said, as he sat up, "I tried to talk to him, but he left anyway." Jared, felt a tear start to form in his left eye and brushed it away angrily with his sleeve.

"What?" Ela said urgently "Why?"

"Odin, believes that if he...stays here, we will all be killed." Jared said tiredly. "I think he, thinks that he cannot be near anybody or if he does they will be killed..."

"Well that is silly!" Ela said instantly. "Of course Celeste will have to go and bring him back, it is not safe for him to wander alone in these woods." She stood, and waited for Jared to stand as well.

"Odin is not alone, Ela, he is with Fafnir, right now he could be halfway to the lower Shaiyla..." He did not get up.

"What will we do then Jared? Dragon's are the fastest thing in this world, we have Knock'lager, but he will refuse to fly, Celeste is too tired to follow him after what happened." She sat back down, looking worried.

"I do not know what to do, we could try to go after him, but it would take us many days to travel what he and Fafnir can in a few hours."

Ela, looked at Jared, and smiled. "Then we do not have time to waste." She stood and grabbed him by the arm. "Come we must prepare to go after him.

"Wait a minute," Jared said quickly. "You are not going anywhere, in fact I think we should stay here, Celeste will know what to do once she is rested, and anyway it would be utter foolishness to try to follow after someone who can fly on a Dragon."

"Oh do not be silly, Jared of course we are going, after her fight with Veldi'Rhag, Celeste will be tired for many days, I felt the amount of power she and Veldi'Rhag, were wielding, even from here, and the amount was truly terrifying. That is time we cannot afford to waste! Now come and help me get food and horses!" She tugged on his arm "Come on Jared, don't be stubborn!"

"No." Jared said sadly, "We will be staying here, you hit this whole arguement on the head, the 'amount' of power they were wielding. What would happen if we ran into one of these people? I do not want to sound cruel, but your a fly compared to them in strength, and you are supposed to be very powerful..." Jared stood and grabbed Ela's arm and looked her in the eyes. "You know, what I say is true, if we ran into them, we would die...They have no compassion, we would just be considered a couple of pawns that should be removed from the board. I could not stand to see that happen to you..."

"You really mean that don't you..." Ela, said quietly, "But come, we are wasting time." She turned and began to walk quickly up the stairs.

"Did you not just hear what I said? You are not going!" He grabbed her arm again, but recoiled and fell backward as her hand slapped his face.

"Yes I am!" She said, and tears began to flow down her face. "He is my Brother, Jared! I-I Have to help him!" She took Jared's hand in her own. "I am so sorry." Suddenly something hard hit him in the head, and blackness began to close in, "I hope you will forgive me, Jared." He heard her say, and a hot tear landed on his cheek, then the blackness closed in completely, and he knew, or felt no more.

Ela stood there for a minute, tears sliding down her lightly tanned cheeks, and dropping onto her dress, as she held onto Jared's hand. "Now what do I do?" She said aloud, to herself. And glared angrily around. "I now have to tie up Jared to keep him from following me, gather supplies, and get out of here safely." She tried to pick Jared up, but he was too heavy. "I need help." She sighed, then started as she heard to familiar voices behind her.

"We could help, sweetest Lady!" Bazzle said excitedly.

"Yes we could, kind Lady." Boris echoed.

"We could do everything!" Bazzle, this time.

"Yes everything!" Boris echoed again.

"We could help you carry him," Bazzle bowed slightly. "Sweet Lady."

"Yes we could," Boris bowed as well, more deeply then Bazzle. "And we could 'borrow' the supplies and horses you need."

"Please let us help, dearest Lady."

"Please."

They both stood there, waiting for her to say yes. there eyes-set in their yellowish, sunbaked faces-seemed pleading.

Ela stared at them for a second, wondering. Why was it that they were so, happy to help her? Well never mind. Ela thought quickly. I need help and they can give it too me. She looked at both of them again before speaking, they looked very, sly..."Well if you are going to help me then, you can start with him." Ela said, and gestured to Jared, who was still unconcious. "But be gentle...I need you to tie him up and hide him in his rooms, after a few hours you can let him go, just give me enough time to get away. Okay?"

"Of course dearest lady, we understand completely." Boris said this time.

"Yes completely." Bazzle said, then glared at Boris, he was the one who spoke first!

"Okay then hurry up and get him tied up before he wakes back up!" Ela said briskly. "After that fill me several packs with food and get me a horse... and a pony to put the food packs on." She said as an afterthought. "Now hurry, I think he just stirred a little!" Ela turned and hurried up the stairs, toward her rooms.

Ten minutes later she stood in front of her dresser, pulling out different clothes, and carefully, setting them into a large leather bag, trying not to wrinkle them. She pulled out several different cloaks, then picked a plain green one, and a much fancier one. One should always be prepared. She thought as she laid the fancy one on the top and laid the other on her bed. She then laid a plain light green dress, with darker green embroidery in the shapes of leaves with vines, on the sleeves and neck next, to the cloak. Socks and a pair of low cut, soft leather riding boots were set down next, and then a silk shift.

She then quickly began changing her clothes and putting on the ones she had laid out on. A tapping sounded at the door, and she quickly pulled the dress on and straightened it before saying 'Come'. Two yellowish faces peered into the doorway, and brightened visably when the saw Ela.

"We did as you said, sweetest Lady. Jared is tied up and is still asleep. We are now going to go and 'borrow' your suppliesand 'borrow' a horse and a pony for you." Bazzle said happily.


"Yes 'borrow' never steal." Boris said quickly.

"No never." Bazzle echoed.

"Good I will meet you down at the base of this tree, and begin my journey, I want you to take care of Jared, and let him go by sunset, but make sure he stays."

"Yes of course Dearest Lady of Magic. Bazzle and I will do that." Boris said happily.

"Yes we will, Dearest Lady." Bazzle echoed though he looked mad that Boris was talking first. The funniest things a Gnome would get mad at.

"Good, Boris, and Bazzle, now just wait for me at the tree's base, and after I meet you there, you may do as you wish."

The two Gnomes bowed low and scurried quickly out the door, talking about borrowing of all things! And something about Sparkly's, Whatever those were.

Ela finished putting her socks and boots on, then tied the straps on her bag shut and put it where she could grab it quickly. She then hurried over and began to write a short note to Jared.



My dearest, Jared.
I am so sorry that I had to do that to you, and am hoping
that you will forgive me before we meet again. I hope
that life favors you until we meet again, and hope you find
someone to love and live your life with. We both know that we
were not meant for each other, and that it would have never
worked out. Find someone better than me Jared, and forget
about your responsibility to keep me safe, I can take care of
myself.

Ela



Writing the note was hard for Ela and she had to rewrite it several times before she could finish it. Her heart felt like it was going to fall to pieces as she wrote the words, that to at least her seemed a lie, and she had to tell herself that it was true, all through the slow saddening process. She finished it by writing her name in the right hand corner, then closed and sealed it with wax and a small sigil of a wild rose blossom. A tear, slipped from her cheek, and landed on the white crisp paper of the letter, and she hurriedly wiped it off, trying to keep it dry, but still left a small wrinkle made by wet paper.

She sighed and tucked it into a pocket, she would give the note to Jared when she saw him. She sat on her bed and began to wait for Boris, and Bazzle to return. The minutes passed until thirty had passed-where it found Ela pacing back and forth. Oh forget their return! Ela thought, and hurried out the door and toward Jared's room.

It was getting later in the afternoon, now, and the sun's rays fell through between the gaps in the tree's leafy boughs, giving everything a greenish hue from the sun shining through the leaves. Jared's room was several flights higher, and was built into the large tree trunk like the others. The door was open, probably the gnomes forgetting to close it, leaving the sun's rays slanted across the polished vine-carven floor. After looking through the several room's of his apartment she heard someone in the closet, as they moved.

She opened the closet, and Jared fell down to the closet floor, the stupid creatures had obviously leaned him against the door as they had stuffed him into it! She stood there for a few seconds just staring at him, before saying anything. What should she say? She thought, suddenly. What could she say after hitting him on the head, and having the Gnomes tie him up? Ela smiled slightly at the thought.

Stop standing there and say something! She thought. Stop acting like a fool you know you have to say something! She took a deep breath, to steady herself. "Jared I am so sorry." She said, then quickly took the gag off, and pulled it down, letting it fall around his neck, she traced the scar on his cheek, he felt hot, probably a fever, from being hit on the head. She stood back up quickly, berating herself for wasting time.

"I truly am, Jared, but I have to go and protect him, he is my Brother..." She left the words hanging, and quickly dabbed her eyes with a finger. "I hope you understand and will forgive me with time..." She cursed in her head, when she felt more tears forming in her eyes, but she outwardly ignored it, letting one fall down her cheek.

Jared began struggling again agaisnt the ropes the Gnomes had tied him with and he closed his eyes, his brow furrowed slightly. He opened his eyes, but did not look back up at her, he seemed to be thinking about something, She thought.

"Ela...Please don't do this! he said after he had sat there for a few seconds, and he looked up quickly after he said it, and stared at her for a second, his eyes, seemed to hold so much hurt and worry. The bull-headed fool tried to get back up again, but the Gnomes had done their job well, and he stopped trying after several seconds. "Don't you understand what I am saying Ela? I cannot let you go out there unprotected...I...I love you! I have always loved you..." Tears began to flow down his tanned cheeks making his eyes redder, and he smiled like he used to when they were younger and still at home.

She sobbed, suddenly, and louder than she would have liked, and clapped her hand over her mouth, before realizing that it was useless. Ela quickly put her hand back down in anger at herself. "Jared please don't...You know it would never work. I-I want you to be happy and I know that you would n-never be happy if we got married, we are just...really good friends." She paused for a brief second, and then quickly began again. "Please go and find someone better after I leave, I know you will be much happier. Please do not feel sad about all of this..." She got angry at the tears suddenly, and swiped at them with her sleeve, in irritation. She sniffled slightly.

He kept staring at her for a second after she had finished, "Please do not say that, Ela! Please stay...I-if I did anything wrong I am so sorry, and hope you will forgive me." He closed his eyes again tightly, and then started fighting hard agaisnt the ropes, and his brow furrowed deeply, a couple tears still ran down his cheeks even though he had his eyes firmly shut.

She thought for a few seconds on what to say to him. I have to be very gentle, and not hurt him anymore but I also have to make sure he does not come after me, he could ruin everything. She wiped another tear away before saying anything, and hoped he would not be to hurt."I am so sorry Jared but I cannot...You never did anything wrong...I was the person who did wrong. J-Jared I led you on, I used to think that maybe, someday we could marry, but not now, we are just not meant for each other..." She carefully muffled a sob that she felt coming, and wiped another tear away before he could see her.

He opened his eyes suddenly and stopped struggling. "Please, Ela..." He whispered, and new tears fell down his cheeks. "I will do anything to keep you here! Anything! I-I just can't let you go..." He shivered slightly.

She quickly knelt down beside him, and looked into his eyes, "Yes you can Jared, and I hope you will find someone better than me and forget about me." She suddenly leaned foreward and kissed him, for a long moment, his cool tears that touched her cheeks were soothing to her hot skin. She reached around and squeezed his hands, then stopped when she felt, something hot and wet drip onto her fingers. "Oh Jared! She cried and sat up, as she saw blood on her fingers. "Did you cut your wrists on the ropes?" He nodded just a little bit, in confirmation. She thought for a second, what could she do? She would have to get him bandages, and a balm quickly, as his wrists could get infected easily. "I will have to fix it, Jared, but you have to promise not to try to stop me when I cut the ropes, and you have to promise to stay behind and not follow me, or I will have to tie you up again, and it would really hurt me to have to take that precaution..." She waited for a short second, watching him carefully, he said nothing, and looked away. She sighed quietly before she said anything else. "Jared? Will you promise me, that you will not follow me, or try to stop me?"

Jared looked into her eyes, "I-I promi-" He started to say, then seemed to freeze as he said them, he looked down slightly and did not look at her. After a couple seconds he looked back up, his eyes looked sad. "I promise, Ela, I will not follow, or stop you." He said the words quickly, as if he was forcing himself to say them. He looked down again, and several more tears fell down his face.

"Thank you so much, for saying that, Jared, I know it must be so hard for you..." He looked back up suddenly, a brief look of sadness mixed with irritation crossed across his face. "You have no idea how hard it was for me to do that, Ela." She-saying nothing-nodded her head, saying she knew what it felt like was pointless, and she was losing precious time. She pulled out a small plain dagger that she had in a pocket, and began slicing the ropes pinning his arms and legs. "Can you walk Jared?" Ela, asked worriedly, As he began to stand, and leaned against the closet wall. "I think I can, Ela." He smiled slightly, though it looked, forced and grim.

Good. Ela thought, as she began helping him to the bed. "Then come and lie on the bed, I will get some bandages and salve for you." She helped him, across the room to his bed-covered with a light-green colored blanket and pillow cases-then hurried out of the darkening room, for the bandages, and salve, and hurried faster as the afternoon was getting later.

She quickly ran to her room, where she had a small jar of salve, with bandages that she had kept from their long trek across the plains, that she had brought from home. Home...How were her parents doing? Was the Village safe? She did not know... She could only hope and pray. Grabbing the jar of salve, and a roll of bandages out of her cabinet of drawers, and rushed back out and up the stairs to Jared's room, stumbling once, and almost dropping the salve to the forest floor, but managed to catch it just before it would have rolled off the heavily carven, and inlaid carved steps, that wound up in a spiral around the tree trunk.

Once she entered his room, she quickly began working on his wrists. First she applyied a thick, generous coat of the salve, which smelled heavily of orange's and orange blossoms in the height of the season, not only smelling good but lending a strong healing property to the salve. After she had applyed the salve, and was satisfied that it was applyed well enough, she quickly began wrapping his wrists in long bandages of the white bandage cloth she had brought with her, then pinned it with a pin she had with her, she then did the other wrist the same way.

"There, you go, Jared. I hope it feels better now...Does it?" She asked when the bandages were secured, tightly, and both pinned in place. He looked handsome... She thought, then mentally slapped herself. She did not have time for stupid moon addled feelings! Remember Odin, fool! She mentally screamed at herself.

He looked down at his wrists after she said that. "I guess so, though they would feel a lot better if you stayed..." He said, and trailed off, leaving the words hanging. He looked up at her, and it looked like he tried to smile but did not for some reason. He opened his mouth then closed it then began talking quickly again. "I am sorry, I should not have said that Ela..." He laid down all the way, and put his head back on the pillows, he looked tired and sleepy...maybe he had lost a little too much blood... She thought to herself, but he would feel better after a good night's rest.

What to say? She thought, after he had said that. I might as well try to make him feel better but I have to be firm! "It is okay, Jared... I just wish you will let go of me...And...Find someone better...Please? For me? Would you promise to do that?" She put her hands on his bandaged wrists, carefully, and looked into his eyes. Did she feel a tear in her left eye?

He looked at her for a few seconds without saying anything, then began talking again. "Ela...That is...Something I can never promise you...I-I am sorry but I can't..." He sat up a little on the bed and took hold of her hands and clasped them in his, much larger one's and squeezed slightly. "I cannot promise you that Ela, but I will keep my promise in not following you or hindering you in anyway, I can promise you that, Ela, even though it hurts me terribly. I promise it on the light of the world, it will only be revoked if you say so." He looked sad as he made the vow... She thought to herself. But she could do nothing about it, he would have to stop hurting himself like this himself, and nothing she could say other than staying would make him feel better and she could not ever do that!

It took her a few seconds to figure out what to say as she stared deep into his eyes, she smiled slightly, and sadly. "Thank you, Jared, I am so sorry, that this whole thing has happened to you...I really am." She squeezed his hands tightly for a second then bent foreward and kissed him on one eye lid then the other. "Go to sleep now, Jared...You need sleep..." She then kissed him on the forehead, then ruffled his soft, brown hair with her hands. He would get over her. Wouldn't he?

"Do I?" he asked, with his eyes closed, then quickly opened his eyes. "I am still worried about you, Ela! I do not want anything to happen to you..." He suddenly looked very worried. "What if a Wraith stumbles upon you?" He sat up completely, and put his hands on her arms, and looked very serious, and worried. "What would you do?"

Ela, pushed him back down onto the pillows, and smiled slightly. "I am not going to run into any of them Jared, trust me. I am smart enough to avoid them, and can sense them from a long ways off...There are none near us now, Jared...Really." She gave him a convincing smile, even though she had no idea where the Wraiths were at the moment! What if he was right? But then what could he do about a Wraith? They were infinitly more powerful, and would take pleasure in killing him if they found him with her...

"Are you sure it is safe?" He, tried to get up, but, she, pushed back down, gently onto the pillows. He smiled slightly like he used to, though frown marks still creased his forehead in worry.

"Yes it is very safe Jared...Now you go to sleep, I need to leave..." She closed his eye lids with two fingers gently, and then kissed them once more, and then kissed him on his forehead once lightly. "Good bye, Jared." She said quietly, and then remembered the note, and set it on the dresser next to his bed carefully placing where it could be easily seen by him.

"Good bye, Ela..." Jared said, sadly, then suddenly jumped up from the bed, knocking the extra bandages off the bed, making them tumble onto the vine carven redwood floor, and he hugged, her tight. "I am sorry for acting childish..." He then quickly, kissed her, and sat back down, again, on the bed. "I am truly, sorry..."

"Oh Jared..." Ela said quickly, then stepped foreward and hugged him back, tightly. "I am sorry too." She let go of him, then impulsively hugged him again. "Good bye, now Jared." She stepped back, and let go of him. "Good bye..." She smiled once more, though it looked forced and still sad, then she turned and hurried out of the room without looking back... She did not want him to see her tears.
* * * *





* * * *
Jared woke up in the dark, the air was hot and stuffy, and felt closed in. Where am I? Jared thought, his mind racing quickly. Was it night? Or was he just in a dark room. He struggled feebly against the ropes he felt tying his arms and legs, he felt tired, and sluggish. What was wrong with him, why did he feel like the small room he was stuffed in was whirling-was it a closet? He tried to shout, to shout out that he was stuck in here, to shout and warn the Elves. But he found that he was gagged as well, with some type of cloth strip. A single tear slid down his cheek, hot. What had happened? How had all of this happened? Was Nadindel attacked? Was he a prisoner? The thoughts raced through his head unchecked and confusing him more, a memory of Ela, flashed past and he suddenly remembered what had happened, he remembered telling Ela that he would not let her go after Odin, he had grabbed her arm and she had turned and slapped him, hard. His cheek stung then and he remembered how it had hurt, mentally, much more than physically. Ela had taken his hands then, and began telling him that she was sorry. Then everything went black...Until now. She must have used her magic to knock me out. Jared thought quickly, he struggled more with the tightly knotted ropes holding his hands behind him. Why would Ela do this? She should know that I would never have really pysically stopped her! She should have known!

He started struggling harder against the bonds holding him, the ropes began to start cutting into his wrists from his effort, but to no avail, the ropes would not come free. Outside the door to his small room he had been imprisoned in he heard something, maybe the soft sound of slippers on the smooth wood floor, or maybe a cloak rustling. Maybe it was an Elf, or Celeste! He hoped it was one or the other, if he could just get free, he could stop Ela before something horrible happened. The door opened quickly, and he slid down to the hard polished wood floor, his wrists suddenly started hurting from the sudden shift making the ropes dig into his wrists more, he felt the warm trickle of blood on his wrists. And since when had he been standing?

Ela, stood in front of him, he saw the sadness in her eyes, they were also swollen and red, as if she had been crying and had not been able to properly dry them. She was wearing a green dress with vines embroidered on the waist, and had a darker green riding hood on. She was still planning on going! She smiled slightly, though it seemed forced and sad, and she stood there for what seemed a while without speaking before she said anything.

"Jared I am so sorry." She said, then hurriedly bent and pulled the gag off and left it around his neck, her fingers, traced the scar on his cheek, soft and cooling, before she stood back up. "I truly am, Jared, but I have to go and protect him, he is my Brother..." She trailed off, and she dabbed at her eyes quickly. "I hope you understand and will forgive me with time..." Tears began forming in her eyes, and one slipped down her flawless, lightly tanned cheek.

He struggled slightly-with the ropes again, and closed his eyes shut tight when the ropes began rubbing against his wrists aggitating them more, and sending another wave of pain through-him before saying anything. "Ela...Please don't do this!" he then said quickly, and looked back up into her pretty deep green eyes, they looked so sad! He tried to stand again, but the cursed ropes held him tight, and kept him from being able to get up, more blood trickled down his wrists, but they were growing numb now, and not much pain was caused by it. "Don't you understand what I am saying Ela? I cannot let you go out there unprotected...I...I love you! I have always loved you..." Tears began to flow down his own cheeks after he said that, they felt hot each one seeming to burn his skin like a hot iron, but he ignored them, he had no time for noticing them. He stared up at Ela again, and tried to smile like he used to back at home.

Ela sobbed suddenly, and she put her hand over her mouth as if to muffle it. "Jared please don't...You know it would never work. I-I want you to be happy and I know that you would n-never be happy if we got married, we are just...really good friends. Please go and find someone better after I leave, I know you will be much happier. Please do not feel sad about all of this..." She began to wipe tears away with her sleeve-darkening the light green fabric-from her eyes, and tearstained cheeks, and she sniffled slightly.

Each word hurt like a dagger going through his heart, being driven in slowly, then pulled out and done again. "Please do not say that, Ela! Please stay...I-if I did anything wrong I am so sorry, and hope you will forgive me." He closed his eyes to keep more tears from forming and struggled as hard as he could with the tight ropes that held his hands tight. Maybe if he could just get free he could convince her! This time pain did wash through him, and he clenched his teeth until it subsided to a dull throbbing.

"I am so sorry Jared but I cannot...You never did anything wrong...I was the person who did wrong. J-Jared I led you on, I used to think that maybe, someday we could marry, but not now, we are just not meant for each other..." He opened his eyes again to look at her and stopped struggling against the tight ropes. "Please Ela." he said with a new wave of tears sliding down his cheeks. "I will do anything to keep you here! Anything! I-I just can't let you go..."

She got down on her knees and, stared at him for a second, her eyes seemed redder, and more swollen then before. " Yes you can Jared, and I hope you will find someone better than me and forget about me." She then suddenly bent forward, and kissed him on the lips for a long second, her tears sliding onto his cheeks, icy and cool compared to his, they seemed to soothe his hot cheeks. Her hands went around his waist and she hugged him tightly for a minute, her hands squeezed his, then she stopped as she felt the blood that was trickling down them.

"Oh Jared!" She gasped and sat up, "Did you cut your wrists on those ropes?" He nodded slightly, and opened his eyes, he felt so tired. "I will have to fix it, Jared, but you have to promise not to try to stop me when I cut the ropes, and you have to promise to stay behind and not follow me, or I will have to tie you up again, and it would really hurt me to have to take that precaution..." She waited for a second, but Jared said nothing. "Jared? Will you promise me, that you will not follow me, or try to stop me?" Another tear fell from her cheek.

Jared looked into her eyes, "I-I promi-" He looked down slightly, as if he were fighting with himself. He looked back up again. "I promise, Ela, I will not follow, or stop you." He closed his eyes again and two tears trickled down his darkly tanned cheeks.

"Thank you so much, for saying that, Jared, I know it must be so hard for you..." He looked back up suddenly. "You have no idea how hard it was for me to do that, Ela." She nodded, then pulled out from a pocket a small plain, unadorned dagger, and began slicing at the ropes, holding his wrists together, then his legs.

"Can you walk Jared?" She asked worriedly, when he stood, and leaned against the wall. "I think I can, Ela." He smiled slightly, though it looked, forced. "Then come and lie on the bed, I will get some bandages and salve for you." Ela helped him, across the room to his bed, then hurried out of the room, for the bandages, and salve.

Jared leaned back on the pillow, and held his wrists tightly, trying to cut off the blood flow, and stop the bleeding some. Tears still ran down his cheeks, and he felt cold from what she had said. Why did it have to be this way? It was not fair! He sobbed slightly, and shut his eyes, trying to stop the tears. He was acting like a child!

Ela was back, after a few minutes, carrying a small pottery jar which he suspected to be the salve, and a few rolls of white bandage, draped over her arm. She sat next to him on the bed, setting the bandage and small pot of salve beside her, and carefully began applying some salve. It felt warm, and smelled like oranges, but also stung terribly for a few seconds, then began to feel much better. After the salve was applied in a generous coating, she began to wrap a clean white bandage around his left wrist, quickly yet very carefully, and she then carefully pinned it with a pin that she somehow suddenly had in her hand, she then did the same thing with the other wrist.

"There, you go, Jared. I hope it feels better now...Does it?" She asked, her face still looked sad, and her eyes were red though not as much, and her tears were gone. She looked so beautiful to him...

He looked down at his wrists. "I guess so, though they would feel a lot better if you stayed..." Jared looked up at her, and tried to smile, but could not manage it for some dumb reason. "I am sorry, I should not have said that Ela..." He laid his head back on the soft pillows on his bed and just stared at her with his eyes half going closed. Why was he feeling so Bloody sleepy?

"It is okay, Jared... I just wish you will let go of me...And...Find someone better...Please? For me? Would you promise to do that?" She put her hands on his wrists, and looked at him questioningly. Was that a tear forming in her left eye?

"Ela...That is...Something I can never promise you...I-I am sorry but I can't..." He sat up a little on the bed and took hold of her hands and clasped them in his, much larger one's. "I cannot promise you that Ela, but I will keep my promise in not following you or hindering you in anyway, I can promise you that, Ela, even though it hurts me terribly. I promise it on the light of the world, it will only be revoked if you say so."

"Thank you, Jared, I am so sorry, that this whole thing has happened to you...I really am." She squeezed his hands tightly for a second then bent foreward and kissed him on one eye lid then the other. "Go to sleep now, Jared...You need sleep..." She then kissed him on the forehead, then ruffled his soft, brown hair.

"Do I?" he asked, with his eyes closed, then quickly opened his eyes. "I am still worried about you, Ela! I do not want anything to happen to you..." He suddenly looked very worried. "What if a Wraith stumbles upon you?" He sat up completely, and put his hands on her arms, and looked very serious, and worried. "What would you do?"

Ela, pushed him back down onto the pillows, and smiled. "I am not going to run into any of them Jared, trust me. I am smart enough to avoid them, and can sense them from a long ways off...There are none near us now, Jared...Really." She gave him a convincing smile, even though she had no idea where the Wraiths were at the moment!

"Are you sure it is safe?" He halfheartedly tried to get up, but, she, pushed back down, gently. He smiled slightly, though frown marks still creased his forehead.

"Yes it is very safe Jared...Now you go to sleep, I need to leave..." She closed his eye lids with two fingers gently, and then kissed them once more, and then kissed him on his forehead once lightly. "Good bye, Jared." She said quietly, and then remembered the note, and set it on the dresser next to his bed.

"Good bye, Ela..." Jared said, sadly, then suddenly jumped up from the bed, knocking the extra bandages off, and hugged, her tight. "I am sorry for acting childish..." He then quickly, kissed her, and sat back down, again, on the bed. "I am truly, sorry..."

"Oh Jared..." Ela said quickly, then stepped foreward and hugged him back, tightly. "I am sorry too." She let go of him, then impulsively hugged him again. "Good bye, now Jared." She stepped back, and let go of him. "Good bye..." She smiled once more, though it looked forced and still sad, then she turned and hurried out of the room without looking back.
* * * *



* * * *
She hurried at a very fast pace, just short of running, to her rooms, and grabbed the bag she had left there ready to be grabbed. Grabbing it she quickly began hurrying down the spiraling staircase to where Boris, and Bazzle, should be with the horse by now, and the pony with 'borrowed' provisions. Silly Gnomes, and their shock over taking food from the Elves with out asking, and having to just say they were borrowing them, so she could even get them to do it!

After about five minutes of walking very quickly down the stairs, she reached the forest floor to find the Gnomes, standing at what must be their imitation of attention, and Bazzle saluted with his left hand-both were smiling as bright and cheery as possible for their wrinkled yellowed, almost leather-like faces. They were funny little creatures and she wished she could take them with her on this trip. But it was much to dangerous to put them into it. She sighed slightly as she thought about having to leave Jared like this, then wiped him from her mind, leaving no emotion, like Celeste had taught her, and smiled slightly in appreciation of the Gnomes effeciency.

"The horse, is named, Snow Light, and the Pony is named Gus, he is our own pony, and very faithful. We are sure you will have no troubl wiht either, Dearest, Sweetest Lady." Bazzle said, with admiration of the snow white horse. and dropped his salute smartly, even though he had used the wrong hand. Cute Creatures, she thought.

"Very Good, to both of you!" She said as Boris hurried to take her bag and began tying it to, Gus, while Bazzle held the reins of, Snow Light, as Ela walked over to mount the small compact, Elf pony. "You may now do anything you wish, as you have completed the tasks I asked of you, just remember to take care of Jared." She said as she took the leather reins from, Bazzle, and mounted, Snow Light.

"It was nothing dearest, Lady, it was the least we could do." Boris said, as he finished tying her bag filled with clothes onto it. Gus looked quite over loaded, but Gnome ponies were known for being able to carry large loads. She thought as she smiled at both of the Gnomes.

"Yes the very least." Bazzle said quickly after Boris, and he looked slightly angry at having to reply after Boris.

"Well thankyou anyway. Now you may go back to what ever you had been doing before all of this happened. Good bye Boris, and Bazzle." She nodded slightly to each of them, in turn.

Both of the Gnomes bowed very low, even for them, then backed away, bowing constantly. It seemed they sometimes forgot that they were not under the control of a Wraith and did not have to do that anymore. She did not stop to tell them not too though, She had already wasted much to much time over the whole thing and Odin was likely quite a bit ahead of her, considering he was riding a bloody Dragon!

"We will watch over Jared for you Dearest, lady, now you must be going as it is getting late, and you must catch the Water God, before he gets caught in the Great Mistress, Shiantra's clutches...She would kill him easily." Bazzle said somberly, and Boris for once said nothing but just nodded. Shiantra seemed to hold a strong amount of fear over them.

"Yes I must be gone from this place." She said quickly. "Fare ye well both of you, I will find Odin and protect him." She turned, Snow Light and galloped the snow white horse down the wide forest path, the rope tying, Gus to the Elf horse, making him gallop as well, though he managed the gait easily with the large load he carried. Strong pony. She thought as she reached the cobblestone road, and quickly began weaving a small weave that Celeste had taught her, to disguise herself. She then used it to make her look like just an everage Elf, and tied the Weave off, leaving the fake features in place. The cobblestones, flew beneath the galloping Horse, and Ponies hooves, as Ela, raced down through the main road that connected the layered levels of the city.



Ok yea
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:41 am

Oh my gosh... Thats way too long for me to read like now. I've read the half-part and the letter. Laughing Reminds me of something. lol

One thing though, I do think you put more characters in that chapter than needed.. and well, it confused me, somehow... :/ But overall, a nice long chapter. Might read the other half later. :]
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:40 pm

Celeste: The legendary Crystal Sorceress that is protecting them as they travel to the Wizards council.
Bazzle and Boris: Two Gnomes that were captured after trying to steal in their camp.
Jared: Odin's best friend who has come along with him.
Ela: Odin's twin sister, and being a twin sister is a quite powerful "Human" sorceress though very young and untrained as of yet.
Odin: Main Character, the reborn Wizard Odin who died in the last age, and is now reborn and thusly being chased by every type of evil in a desperate attempt to keep him from attaining his Wand he used in the last age.
Veldi'Rhag: An Evil legendary Crystal sorceress of incredible power and is hell-bent on either killing Odin or taking him to the Necromancer in an attempt to gain favour.


Does that cover everyone? There are lots of others I have not included in this chapter
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Lady Blood
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PostSubject: Re: A few Tid Bits from my manuscript   Tue Feb 15, 2011 12:37 am

that was soo good i can't wait until ur done with the book so i can read all of it. Smile
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A few Tid Bits from my manuscript

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