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 Poignance

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Hasan
FRESH MEAT
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Join date : 2010-07-19
Posts : 6


PostSubject: Poignance    Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:22 pm

I am no poet and only write for the fun of it. Tell me what you think if you do read these.

Shriveled sun in spent glory
Frames hollow in deepened sorrow
Each bent tree tells a story
Which chills the bone to the marrow.

Roads eager for weary travelers
To suck their spirit and leave
That mind in the hold of stranglers
What better way to bereave?

Crossed signs in hazy visions
Scintillate life's essence
Can there be a saner word
Than the one belying effervescence?

Can these flowers be regrown
Even if the sun doesn't shine?
I do not know, for I have not sown
Love of a thousand hearts into thine.

Oh Helena! Can you walk to my grave
In bare night's silence
And forget all things grave
Spoken between us?

In that cold world of broken dreams
Eyes strewn in gilded locks of gold
I could feel life's vibrant streams.
"To embrace them?" I was not so bold!

In the gloominess of this muddled world
I can recall many sunny days.
Yet now everything is gone
But the memories remain refrained stains.

Life spent in glittering glades
Where streams evoked pain and gloom
Colourless now are the broken shades
In which, no flower now blooms.
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Matt
Ex Staff
Ex Staff
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Join date : 2010-03-29
Posts : 559


PostSubject: Re: Poignance    Fri Oct 15, 2010 6:30 am

I liked it, I'm not a poet, so I'm not sure of what aspects of this I should critic...I'll leave that to Artrain Razz
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Thorned Hope
I Like Cheese
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Join date : 2010-03-19
Rank : Ex Staff

Posts : 1798


PostSubject: Re: Poignance    Fri Oct 22, 2010 7:26 pm

Wow Hasan that was so lovely!! I loved the second of the last and last stanza and the third of last stanza, the wording was good which I liked the most. Hope you post more soon.:]
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Poignance

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