Battle Zone
We think you should log in. Don't you?


This is the site for everything and anything you want to talk about. Want to discuss the latest games? Done. Want to have fun? Done. This is THE place to have a great time.
 
HomePortalFAQMemberlistRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Jokes

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Firesword assassin
Ice Breaker
avatar

Join date : 2010-04-05
Rank : Discussions Moderator

Posts : 798


PostSubject: Jokes   Tue Aug 28, 2012 2:59 pm

It's taken a while, but one thing has occurred to me when browsing this part of the forum: this is a humour section and there is a lack of jokes threads. So, to ensure this is a humour section and not just a collection of games, I want you to post your jokes- even if they aren't all that funny 'cos some are so sad that they're funny. Like this one:

what do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?

Spoiler:
 

(You'll have to excuse my morbid humour; it may seep through on a couple of jokes, just don't be offended)

_________________
Evil is a point of view ~Anne Rice
Assumption is the mother of all f*ck ups.
Back to top Go down
Old Amsterdam
Bow Before Thy Master
Bow Before Thy Master
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Head Admin / Site Owner

Posts : 7269


PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Wed Aug 29, 2012 6:24 pm

Put in spoilers for cussing.

Spoiler:
 

_________________
As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

Back to top Go down
http://battlezone.forumotion.net/
Firesword assassin
Ice Breaker
avatar

Join date : 2010-04-05
Rank : Discussions Moderator

Posts : 798


PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Thu Aug 30, 2012 1:42 pm

Old Amsterdam wrote:
Put in spoilers for cussing.

Spoiler:
 
That made me chuckle tbh. Hope there wasn't a subliminal message hidden beneath that Razz

The square root of 2 walks into bar and punches the barman in the face.
"Hey! Why did you do that?"
"Because I'm irrational!" says the number.

_________________
Evil is a point of view ~Anne Rice
Assumption is the mother of all f*ck ups.
Back to top Go down
Lone Wolf
I am such a post-wh*re and I am proud of it.
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-09
Rank : Technical Admin / Webmaster

Posts : 2523


PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Sun Sep 02, 2012 8:06 am

Nice FA.

Warning, Blonde joke.


A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

_________________
There are so many people out there who say, "You can't."
What you have to do is turn around and say, "Watch me."
Back to top Go down
Nexus
Mini-Godzilla
Mini-Godzilla
avatar

Join date : 2010-05-08
Posts : 55


PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Sun Sep 02, 2012 9:03 am

Haha Crackup.



The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

_________________
Stand Up!
For what is Right.
Be Brave!
Get ready to fight.
Hold On!
We are Friends for life.
Back to top Go down
Lone Wolf
I am such a post-wh*re and I am proud of it.
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-09
Rank : Technical Admin / Webmaster

Posts : 2523


PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Sun Sep 02, 2012 8:18 pm

Little bit Sexist but hey...

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."

_________________
There are so many people out there who say, "You can't."
What you have to do is turn around and say, "Watch me."
Back to top Go down
Firesword assassin
Ice Breaker
avatar

Join date : 2010-04-05
Rank : Discussions Moderator

Posts : 798


PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Wed Sep 05, 2012 4:43 pm

lol, I've heard the blonde joke before and it's still funny...

(Morbid) blonde joke:

A blonde is walking along a rail track and sees a red head jumping up and down on the tracks chanting "91, 91, 91". The blonde, thinking it fun, decided to jump on the tracks and imitate her.

Suddenly a train comes hurtling down the tracks and the red head jumps out of the way at the last second. After the train has passed she walks back to the track and jumps up and down on the track chanting "92, 92, 92".

_________________
Evil is a point of view ~Anne Rice
Assumption is the mother of all f*ck ups.
Back to top Go down
Lone Wolf
I am such a post-wh*re and I am proud of it.
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-09
Rank : Technical Admin / Webmaster

Posts : 2523


PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Thu Sep 06, 2012 7:00 am

Hahahahahahahahaha, Well worth the morbidness...

Another one.

A blonde was standing in
front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!




She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"




The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"

_________________
There are so many people out there who say, "You can't."
What you have to do is turn around and say, "Watch me."
Back to top Go down
Old Amsterdam
Bow Before Thy Master
Bow Before Thy Master
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Head Admin / Site Owner

Posts : 7269


PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:52 am

Oooh, those were good.

That reminds me, by the way FA, of another joke like that.

I'll try and get it right.

How to learn to mind your own business:

I was walking down the street past an insane asylum, past it's giant wooden fence, when I heard a bunch of the kids chanting, almost singing, "12, 12, 12" over and over and over. As I came closer, I noticed a hole in the fence. To find out what was going on, I put my eye up to the hole, and was immediately poked in the face with a stick.

As I started to walk away, cursing, I heard the chant start up again. Only this time, it was "13, 13, 13" over and over again.

After that, I knew how to mind my own business.

-----------

So yeah, bit more of a moral-story, but I chuckle every time.

_________________
As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

Back to top Go down
http://battlezone.forumotion.net/
Firesword assassin
Ice Breaker
avatar

Join date : 2010-04-05
Rank : Discussions Moderator

Posts : 798


PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Wed Jan 30, 2013 1:39 pm

That was rather amusing, made my day Smile

Geeky jokes:

Know any jokes about sodium?
Na

Wanna know a joke about nitric oxide?
NO

I'd tell you another chemistry joke but all the good ones argon.

Did you hear about the crooks who never had to work? They were Joule thieves!

Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue

i might call pi irrational, but he just replied "get real!"

_________________
Evil is a point of view ~Anne Rice
Assumption is the mother of all f*ck ups.
Back to top Go down
Old Amsterdam
Bow Before Thy Master
Bow Before Thy Master
avatar

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Head Admin / Site Owner

Posts : 7269


PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Thu Jan 31, 2013 12:54 am

Those were good.

A joke that I heard a long time ago, though I'm not too sure it counts as one.

"Baby, my dick is longer than A to Z."

"That's not much. They're right next to each other on a keyboard."

_________________
As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

Back to top Go down
http://battlezone.forumotion.net/
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Jokes   

Back to top Go down
 

Jokes

View previous topic View next topic Back to top 

 Similar topics

-
» Roland's Jokes
» Chess jokes
» [Joke challenge] Yo mamma is so fat...
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Battle Zone :: Discussions :: Forum Games-
Jump to: