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 UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.

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Old Amsterdam
Bow Before Thy Master
Bow Before Thy Master
Old Amsterdam

Join date : 2010-03-04
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Posts : 7269

UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Empty
PostSubject: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeFri Mar 12, 2010 11:21 am

Chapter Titles:
Prologue: Deception
1: Captured
2: Plans
3: The Kar'tang
4: The War Begins
5: A Dance of Death
6: Victory or Death
7: The Year Notice
8: An Old Friend
9: Companions
10: An Unscheduled Stop
11: The Road Divided
12: The Shadow
13: Fight or Flight?
14: The Forest of Shadows
15: The Missing Guard
16: The Departure
17: Awake
18: Zangu's Tale
19: The Past Revealed
20: Knowledge is Power
21: The Ultimate Choice
22: The Giants
23: Yes or No?
24: An Army Assembles
26: The War Call
27: The Valley of Lost Souls
28: A Lost Battle
29: The Leaders Divided
30: Outnumbered
31: A True Home
32: The Scroll

Book I:
The War: First Blood

Prologue: Deception
(author/editor note- This is a simplified prologue, the final should be much longer)

It was another night in which little light penetrated the darkness. In a rare burst of moonlight, several Elves could be seen bounding, light as feathers, through a leafy path leading through the Eluri Forest. There were two females, easily distinguished by their long hair. The final elf that came through was a male. The trio all had armor that was dark green in color. Each sported a half helm, hauberk, and grievers. The guards--easily noticeable as protectors from their positions and statures--had bows with quivers full of swan-feathered arrows. All three of them Scarried swords on their sides and were extremely alert. They were using every ounce of their heightened senses to detect any trace of danger. Even so, they could not hear the wicked Shades that approached.

These Shades wore black cloaks in hopes of avoiding sight. They all looked the same: black eyes, red hair, pointed teeth shown in vicious smiles, white skin that appeared thinner than the norm, and pointed ears. They were muttering spells of secrecy to avoid being found by the elves. They were obviously preparing to strike. Impatiently they watched the Elves switch position, so that the rear Elf was now leading. Meanwhile, a black crow could be faintly seen flying overhead…

When the first Elf came into range they didn't move, not yet. This Elf had a spear at the ready, hoping he wouldn't have to throw it through anything. Then came the leader of the small convoy. It was obvious that she was in charge as she wore the most expensive clothes. The Shades set up in formation when she appeared. The plan was simple, the information that they had was perfect. They knew everything about these Elves. At least, they knew that which was important—and relevant--for taking the target hostage. Then the third, and last, Elf came and the shades licked their lips in anticipation. The Shades attacked quickly, sending out a flight of black arrows. The rear Elf fell as the arrows ripped through the exposed flesh that wasn’t covered by her armor and slashed the straps of her quiver in half. Slowly the quiver fell with a slight thump before her bloody carcass hit the ground. Her body was full of black shafts, making her appear as if she was a porcupine lying on the soft dirt of the forest floor. A soundless scream was etched upon her upturned face. The male Elf let out a bellow of rage for his fallen companion. He threw the spear he carried at the nearest shade, straight for the heart. The demon was prepared, however, and snatched the shaft of the weapon out of the air and sent it through the Elf in return so that the spear landed, quivering, into a tree. The Elf clutched at the newly formed hole in his chest before falling to the ground; face first, in silent death. Finally, the Shades turned to their true prey, wishing they could enjoy the taste of her blood. But she had to live...for now at least. She turned tail and ran through the thick tree trunks into the underbrush, trying vainly to escape. The lesser shades started to flank her, driving her into a trap. Within minutes they had her cornered at a part of the forest where the trees were so thick that the elf could no longer run through them. Then the final and most powerful Shade came forward. The Elf stood with her blade out and waited as a rabbit does when a fox sits outside its hole.

"Give us the stone, elf, and we will spare you." the Shade spat.

"Never! If you want it then you'll have to search all of Gallen to find it!" the elf shrieked. She looked around for an escape that did not exist. Slowly and deliberately, she pulled a black stone from a pouch on her side. She started to mouth a spell that would send the stone to safety.

"Tal-vitz!" cried the Shade in desperation. A burst of ice flew from his hand. He was too slow however, and the elf's magic sent the stone away in a flash of the brightest blinding white. She sighed in relief, unaware that the Shade’s magic was coming. Suddenly, the burst of ice struck the elf in the chest and she fell, unconscious and immobile. Frost slowly formed on the edge of her clothes, hair, and in her elegant, yet fierce, eyebrows.

The Shade cursed the elf at his feet in the darkest oaths of his vile language. The other Shades stood nearby, mere feet from the other. The shade unsheathed his sword, and, in his fury, swung it through the others' chests and felt the blade cut through their hearts, separating them in two. Black-green blood followed the path of his weapon, splattering the nearest trees. Slowly the infected areas started to smoke and eat away at the trees. Both of the shades' top portion slowly started to separate from the rest. Slowly, then faster, the pieces fell before landing with a muffled thump. Then the rest of their bodies fell, collapsing upon themselves. These remains started smoking just like the blood had done. But within minutes, the bodies turned to dust. The spirits that had once resided in the bodies rose up and scattered in every direction. As they left the forest, the combined voices of the spirits sighed and murmured, "Free...Free at last!" The evil voice echoed throughout the land, disturbing all that heard it. Slowly the voice disappeared and every trace of the Shades' existence was gone forever...

Once the spirits where gone, the Shade turned back to the unconscious Elf. Taking care to not damage her further, he picked her up and tied her to one of the horses hidden nearby. He then killed the extra horses that had been the other shades’ steeds. After all, they weren’t going to need them anymore, so why should the horses be left alive? As he rode off, he looked bask and the bloody scene behind him. On one of the tree branches a crow sat, unblinking and forever watching.

The War: The Beginning
(au/ed- This next part is going to be moved to the very end of Book 1 of 3 (this you’re reading…)…)
How could it have happened so soon? Mankind is being ravaged upon by the creatures of the universe that are one with nature. How could we have been so foolish? Year 3050 A.D, thought that it would be a good idea to bring the past and future together. After all, we did need to save ourselves from extinction, but why would we think anything would go wrong? The middle ages and our society mixed brilliantly, at first. Then it came...the fog. It isn’t natural. You can't see farther than 10 feet in any direction except for up. It blocks out the light and induces fear. No one knows how it came to be. No one dares try to escape through it. The entire Northern border of the world is covered in it. The monstrosity that lives there never comes out...Thank god. Everything is changing thanks to The Machine...buildings regressing…our technology too...well, at least our weapon technology is. Only weapons left to fight Darkness are flails, axes, spears, bow and arrow type weapons, and swords...tons and tons of swords...and many other medieval weapons. Some of our vehicles remain and some of our normal technology is somewhat functional. I don't know who to trust...spies everywhere. I know the end is near. I don't have the trust or any companions left to do anything about it. The skies are alight with explosions and colors at night. No one knows what is going on...everyone is scared. The end is near. The only thing I can do is wait...and wait...Time is drawing the strings around the necks of our leaders. They don't know what to do...monsters that were once hidden have appeared...they feast on human flesh and blood. Some can be easily defeated...others can only defeat you. The fantasy of simple life is over. No one can survive long on their own. We travel in groups the size of small armies in case IT attacks. When IT attacks all is can't do anything to save yourself. The Master Magicians have gone into hiding, along with their magical companions. The Elves and Giants have disappeared into their strongholds deep within forests, mountains, caves, and such things that fit them. I know something bad is coming. And yet...I feel as if a Savior will appear, majestic like the white stallion, proud like the lion, powerful like the tiger, yet caring like a mother. Power that none can imagine. Monarchy, war, and poverty will become common. And death will come often and tear families apart. Why did we have to do this? We find some messed up piece of technology from space, tinker with it, and try to use it. Well look what that got us into! I'm sick of mankind...I can't believe I helped make this happen. Sooner or later They will find out and I'm a dead man. Sooner or later the Darkness will come and the ruler of IT will take over this planet. I know they’re coming...sooner or later. The War is coming...Hell on Earth...Armageddon in Space...the end is near. May the gods have mercy on our souls. ---Crean Deha, if you find this then you know what to do and you know the truth...destroy the alien machine and peace should be restored...Hopefully…I fear that--

(…down to here))

Chapter 1: Captured!

Edith Karasa was a young man by the common standards. Being 17 years old, most boys were allowed to get jobs and search for a wife. Unfortunately, Edith wasn't like most boys. At least he didn't stand out in a crowd. He was the average height of 5 feet 11 inches. He had dark brown hair like most boys. However, his eyes were extremely rare: the color of the midnight sky. He was of medium weight at 180 pounds and the average build of a hard worker. However, with his great physical, mental, and even magical abilities, he always seemed to be in trouble. And was he in trouble. Magic was outlawed by the King and the Law stated that only with the King's permission could someone use it. Well, Edith didn't have that privilege, and now he was running for his life from the King's Krimson Army. He had watched them murder his family and burn his house down. Since then he had been on a race...a race against time, but now he was about to enter a Loyal town. A town that would easily turn him into the King and celebrate when he was hanged.

When Edith entered the main entrance of the city it was pitch dark. However, it seemed to shine, creating an odd effect on the eyes. Even though it was hard to see, Edith could tell that the city was elegantly built. Every building was made from the purist of marble slabs and shone through the darkness with that eerie glow. Yet the streets were nothing special; they were only made of the usual stones. He had chosen to enter the city at night...midnight to be exact. He hoped that everyone would be fast asleep. At the town circle Edith stopped suddenly and tensed. He was staring at a poster. A poster with a picture that featured a caption telling of a reward.

The poster was for his capture.

“‘Approach with caution, dangerous, illegally magical, reward of 200,000 gold pieces for his capture, alive...20,000 gold pieces for reliable information about his whereabouts. Name: Edith Karasa. Age: 17 years old. Origin: Savur. Last known location: heading towards the town of Kabu.' Well, it seems I should get out of here before they find me." Edith muttered. "And to top it all off, these guys made me look like a madman." As he was reading the wanted poster an old man came walking up to stand beside him. He didn't seem to realize who he was standing next to, or maybe he just didn't care. The man didn't seem that strong. He was only 5 feet 8 inches at the tallest with a wild mane of snow-white hair. His eyes, however, stood out as a sparkling green that seemed to glow in the darkness that surrounded them. I could probably take him out if I needed to Edith thought.

"Crazy little bugger isn’t he, eh? I heard he took out twenty K.A. men by hisself!" the old man stated casually.

"Really? I've heard that he's only been on the run." Edith replied just as casually. But his mind was racing. What if this old man was stalling? Had he already alerted the Krimson Army to Edith's presence?

"Well, who knows what's the truth anymore, eh?" the man grumbled in discontent. He then looked at Edith's face intently. "You sure do look like him. What's your name son?"

"Stallion." Edith answered confidently. It was his old nickname that no one alive knew so it had to be safe to use, right?

"Mmm...I don't know where your going at this time of night, but why don't you stay at my house for a while? You can stay as long as you like. It's free too." the man offered quietly. "Oh and by the way my name's Zangu.” Stallion hesitated. “Come on, let's go, times a wasting."

Stallion decided to follow the man, he wanted to sleep so badly and this might be his only chance to catch up on his rest for a long time. The walk to Zangu’s house was short but seemed to take an eternity. Also, every noise and movement made Stallion jump or whirl towards the disturbance. He knew that Zangu was watching him, but he couldn’t help himself. He could have sworn that there was someone following them. Stallion thought he had even seen a man duck around the corner when he had looked back. When they finally got to Zangu's house, Stallion was showed to the guest room. According to Zangu, it used to be his children's room before they moved out. The bed was comfy and the night warm and he fell right asleep. However, as he was sleeping peacefully, a man was running to the Krimson Army Lieutenant of the town with news. News that would prove to be horrific for Stallion...

"Boy! Get up!" a voice yelled Stallion awake. "You are under arrest for treason, resisting arrest, attempted assassination, two counts of murder and one count of assault. Anything and everything you say or do from this point on can and will be used against you in the Court of the King. Do NOT try to use magic or any other means of escape as we have magicians of our own who are able and willing to take you down. You will now be handcuffed with unbreakable chains. Not even magic can break them. Once you enter the Serger waiting for you outside, the cuffs will come off and disappear. The man who has been identified as Zangu Sinmach will join you in the Serger for helping you. Now move it!" Thus, he was hoisted out of the bed, forced into a set of black handcuffs, and shoved roughly into the Serger that was waiting outside. There were tons of rumors surrounding these mysterious vehicles. If you went into one of them you were never seen again. The Sergers were one of the few flying vehicles left in the Empire. The outside was sleek, jet-black, and heavily armored. The Serger was immensely large so that the Krimson Army could carry many soldiers and prisoners. No one could even imagine what kept it flying with such weight but many believed it was through magic. Though who controlled that magic was a mystery. After he was put inside, Stallion saw several things that intrigued him. First, the inside seemed bigger than the outside made it look and it was divided into two parts. Second, it was divided by only a steel mesh fence where the K.A. soldiers stayed on one side and the prisoners on the other. Third, the prisoner section had beds, food, water, and other such household comforts. Finally, everyone on the prisoner side seemed to be immensely happy. Even Zangu --who Stallion did not trust and who didn't seem to be the type of guy to "go quietly"-- was at ease. Stallion continued to look around, looking for a way to escape. However, as he thought of using his magical abilities, an alien presence forced itself upon his thoughts. "Do not bother fleshing. I would rather not have to use my powers upon you! Do as the other prisoners do, be happy that you are alive. I can help you become strong. I can help you survive in this tortured world. I can help you advance your powers when the time comes. Even Zangu has listened to me...why destroy their hopes of Enlightenment? Trust me, I can help you on your way to greatness!" the presence persuaded but Stallion was still unconvinced. "I can tell that you are skeptical, Stallion. To prove myself I will give you three little pieces of the soon-to-be future. First, you will temporarily join the Krimson Army. Second, you will meet up with Ella during this time. Third, you will set out with four others to seek your heritage, I will be one of your companions, and the others will be liberated K.A. soldiers." Stallion was shocked. Who was this mysterious being? "To answer your question, I am Shadow...a Shadowing." With that the presence left and Stallion was left to ponder on what he should do. How did the creature know his thoughts? Should he trust this being? Should he play along? Or should he still try to escape?

"I'm sorry this is happening to you, kid." Zangu said as he sat down next to him, interrupting Stallion’s thoughts.

"Don't worry about it. I was going to get caught eventually. I'm just sorry that you're in this mess because of me." Stallion muttered carefully. He still didn't know whether or not to trust Zangu and it seemed best to play it safe, just in case.

"So...tell me why these guys are after you."

"Well...let's just say that I can use magic and I used it a bit too much. I don't really care what happens to me...I just want my revenge."

"For what? I know the K.A. have done some pretty bad things, but what could they have possibly done to you that would make you become one of the most wanted men in the entire Empire?"

"I've been framed by a man named General Klaw. He killed my family and burned my house down. I'm being charged with two of those murders and a bunch of other trumped up charges because of him. I don't really care that my parents are's my sister that I'm doing this for. She was one of the few people that I actually cared about."

"What was her name?"

"What does it matter? She's dead now...nothing can change that. I don't want to talk about her, O.K.? I need to get some sleep. I guess I’ll see you in the morning." And with that Stallion went to a cot and laid down. Slowly he fell into an uneasy slumber.

A shivering boy was walking through a dark and menacing forest. The trees were dark grey, the leaves black, and the night darker than ever before. The moon was full and shined with a bright light but little made it to the forest floor. The trees, hundreds of feet tall, made sure of that. The boy wandered blindly through the forest. Even though he was visibly frightened, it was also obvious that he found the entire scene to be incredible. A rustle of leaves to his right made the boy jump and face the sound. The trees were hungry for his fear. They hadn't had a meal in a long, long time. Through the darkness between the trees grew, slowly, a worse darkness. This one was more than just a shadow brought into existence by the combined efforts of the trees and the moon. It was shouldn't have been there. And slowly but surely it took the form of a human with deep, blue eyes. It opened what looked like a mouth and a voice rang out through the forest. The boy looked up through one of the rare gaps in the canopy and let out an exhausted sigh of disbelief. Circling above him were those two dragons. They were waiting for the command from their master, their superior. Then the shadow made a sudden movement and the dragons loosed a blast of fire. The terrified boy fled from the dragons and their controller. But the dragons still loomed above him and suddenly, without warning, flew down to strike...

" is time!" yelled a voice. Opening his eyes he saw a Krimson Army Captain holding a sword to his throat. "Follow us; you are to be sentenced for your crimes by my superior. Be respectful or else we shall punish you even more rigorously." And thus he was led, heavily guarded, to a chamber located at the center of a dark and forbidding fortress. His guards were not easy on him and they made sure to jeer at him at every chance. The building, with its looming towers and desolate look, had obviously been built by the Darkness many, many years before. How had the K.A. gotten a footing in it? The inside of the building was just as eerie and repulsive. The stench of death and decay pored from every cranny. There were cells on the walls with skeletons hanging from chains. There were blood stains, some of them fresh enough to still reek, on almost every wall and door. He was led through door after door until he came to a long corridor with no end in sight. Here his guards all stopped. One pointed down the corridor and said, "Follow the will get dimmer as you go along. There are only two doors: this one here and the one that you will enter at the end of the hallway. It will be blue in color. There are no windows for you to crawl out of and we will be standing guard here." There was no way that he could escape. He had no choice but to move on. The farther he went along the corridor the darker it got just as the men had said. By the time he had made it half way, the corridor was only lit by a few small candles fitted into sinister looking holders. The holders were shaped in odd formations and it was several minutes before Stallion finally realized that they were wrought to appear like human heads screaming in pure agony and terror. It took nearly half an hour for Stallion to come upon the blue door. However, he didn't go instantly in. There was no handle on the door or any obvious way to open it. The door looked more like a mouth than anything. In his uncertainty, he recited a sudden enchantment that detects other life forms. A black dove appeared before him with two blood-red diamonds on its forehead. So there are two people on the other side of this "door". And it appears that it really is a door and not a gateway or mouth of some beast by that dove’s look.

"Cross the threshold Edith Karasa and accept your destiny!" a commanding voice rang out when he attempted to find a way to open the door. Stallion jumped back and the door opened itself for him to come in. Inside was a hefty oval table with a young and beautiful woman, of Stallion's age, sitting on the conflicting end of the table and a General who was standing her wake. There was only one other chair in the room so Stallion assumed it was intended for him and sat down hastily.

"Edith Karasa of Savur. You have been charged with many severe felonies. If found guilty then you shall be executed or will spend out the rest of your existence in these dungeons. How do you plead your case?" the young woman demanded. She looked startlingly familiar to Stallion.

"How do I plead?! I'm innocent! I've been framed!" Stallion yelled defiantly.

"What do you mean you've been framed? Who could have possibly framed you for murder, treason, resisting arrest, and everything else that you're charged with?" the woman asked meticulously. "You even used magic right outside this very room! Are you trying to deny all of these charges?"

"Yes I am! Well not all of them anyways. I’ll admit to using magic and everything with that, but I didn't resist arrest, murder my family, or plot treason! It was one of your Generals who murdered my family and is trying to overthrow the King. And he made up that whole resisting arrest bullsh--!"

"You can stop right there! I will not have you use foul language in front of my daughter! And if you are telling the truth, then what is the name of the General who is supposedly framing you?" the General roared.

"General Klaw...he is one of the King's most trusted Generals, or so I've heard. And that is why he could essentially conquer the King if no one dares to open their eyes and sees what a fiend he has become!" Stallion bellowed angrily. "Or are you in on it too General?"

"No I am not! I am General Slasher, one of the most esteemed men in the Krimson Army! You are lucky that I am not the one who is deciding your fate boy! If it was up to me you would be dead within the hour. But as it daughter is the one who shall be selecting how you will be punished as she sees fit." General Slasher snarled.

"Dad, why don't you just step outside for a bit? You aren't making things any easier you know." the woman mumbled quietly without any heat. "I can handle him by myself."

"...if you say so. Just be careful. We do not know what he is really capable of." General Slasher muttered so quietly that Stallion could only barely hear him. He sauntered out of the room slowly and looked back before he left, closing the door behind him..

"I apologize for my father's boisterous behavior. Unfortunately, there is little I can do to correct it. Anyways, do not worry about General Klaw anymore Mr. Karasa. He has been exiled from the kingdom. As you have already stated, he was plotting treason. However, if what you say is true, then he had much more to pay for that we were unaware of. But that doesn't matter now...odds are that he has died in the Wastelands by now." the woman said kindly. She mentioned the Wastelands...not many people (even those in the K.A.) would even dare to mention that place. Even though it was just a desert filled with debris from unknown machines, everyone feared it and would only whisper mere thoughts about the reason that it was there. "And now we come to you Mr. Karasa. What do you expect me to do about you and your charges?"

"You're asking me?" he demanded belligerently.

"Why would I not ask you? It is very helpful to have someone's opinion on these matters." she responded smoothly.

"I expect that you will imprison me for life, send me to the King himself, or sentence me to an immediate death."

"Really? You think that I am that vindictive and stiff hearted? Especially after hearing what Claw did?" she demanded.

"How would I know? I've never met you before. For all I know, you could be just as bad as Claw." he retorted. Why does she seem so familiar? I know I've met her somewhere before now...but where? Stallion thought in confusion.

"True...however, I believe what you are saying. And..." She hesitated for just barely a second. "I am going to let you go without any punishment on these trumped up charges." Quickly she wrote some sort of message on a piece of parchment and walked over to a cage full of birds near the door that Stallion hadn’t noticed before. Slowly she chose one of the birds and strapped the piece of parchment to its leg. The bird immediately took off when she was done.

"Why do you believe me?" He asked in confusion. Most K.A. soldiers were cold and relished the idea of pain, suffering, and death.

"I don't really know. I feel like I should know you from somewhere a forgotten friend." she mumbled slowly. Then her voice become louder, more business like. "Anyways, I want you to join our ranks. Someone with your abilities should be able to help us out incredibly, especially since we are low on magicians and what-not. So, what do you say?"


"You wouldn't have to give any. And information and you would only need to serve with us part time...I mean, if you wanted..." She prodded slyly

"I...l...uh...I guess I will...join you...but what about you? Will I ever see you again? Or..." Stallion started but stopped suddenly as he felt his face go red. I probably look like a beat he thought angrily.

"Oh! was thinking that you would be in my squad, you know, if you wanted to be in it," she said surreptitiously.

"I...I would like that..." Stallion responded slowly, wondering what her motive was. She turned around and gave a brief smile before the door burst opened and the smile vanished as her head whipped around to see a young, skinny messenger, along with the exceedingly worried looking General Slasher, come running in.

"Lady...Lady Karan...I am sorry interrupt...but I bring bad news...the battle we…speak!" The messenger gasped the message in short bursts of speech. He must have just run several miles to deliver this important message. An army? What is going on here?!Stallion began to wonder.

"The scouts have reported a great number of Grenbuls and Kaylans heading this way. They are armed for war, carrying enough provisions with them to last weeks in the case of a siege. Also, we have learned that they will be here soon." General Slasher reported.

"How soon will they be here? If you expect me to draw up a battle plan I am going to need to know." Lady Karan asked scrupulously.

" dawn," the messenger answered slowly, still trying to catch his breath.

"At dawn! But...but we can't create a battle plan in only five hours for a fight of this caliber!" Lady Karan screeched in protest.

"Lady, let me draw up the plan. I believe that I can create the perfect defense against these monsters. Just rally the troops and prepare them for battle. I shall have the plans ready within two hours, I promise," Edith offered. Maybe he could escape by helping them. Everyone looked at him as though they had forgotten he was there. General Slasher's surprise soon turned to anger but before he could speak Lady Karan had already consented to the idea. "I swear I shall not let you down."

"I can't believe that you are letting him, of all people, do such an important task!" General Slasher yelled towards his daughter.

"Father, he can finish this much quicker than I can. And I have decided that he is innocent. Plus he has been put into the army under my rule." She replied in exasperation. Then she added, in an undertone, to Stallion, "Go ahead and use finish those plans even quicker. I'd get out of here fast as well. Go to the guards who brought you in here, I've sent a message telling them that you are now one of them. They will take you to the barracks and will set you up. If they give you any troubles just tell me when next we meet, which will probably be rather soon since I need those plans, and I guarantee that I will take care of them...personally."

"If you say so. I believe that there is no reason to be standing around. If you need any help from me just send word." General Slasher ordered. Like I'd want help fromyou, old fool. Stallion thought angrily. No one needed to be told twice. Stallion left first so he didn't get to see what happened to the messenger or Lady Karan and her father. It was best that he didn't stay around General Slasher more than he had to until the old man learned to trust him.

I don't know if I can make these battle plans as foolproof as I was attempting to make them believe. They think I can do it with magic...what fools! The skill needed in order to make a plan like that is immense! First of all, it is impossible to see into the future without killing oneself. Do they think that magic comes without rules and regulations? What nonsense! There are rules and regulations just like everything else in this forsaken world. But...I think I know how to handle these beasts… he thought furiously. His mind was working like a clock on turbo speed, faster than time itself.

It didn't take long for Stallion to make it back to the guards that had brought him to the hallway. The way back didn’t seem to take nearly as long as it had seemed to have taken as he had walked through it the first time. As Lady Karan had said, they were fully aware of what had happened. They even treated him kindly, or at least as kind as a Krimson Soldier could.

"You are one of us now. However, that does not mean you may do whatever you wish. You must follow our rules and obey our codes. Firstly, never take off the uniform given to you except to wash it. Secondly, never go against your commander's orders or you will be beaten within an inch of your life. That is, you will be whipped if you are not hanged first. Finally, Lady Karan may be your acting General, but you also answer to your acting Captain and Lieutenant. Understand?" one of the men said in a voice that yelled of boredom and reeked of alcohol.

"Yes, sir!" Stallion responded, trying to ignore the putrid scent that lingered after the man spoke. It was obvious that the man was the third in line of the commanding officers that he had to obey. Even though Lieutenants were lower than Captains (and even lower than Generals), they were still to be obeyed as if they were superiors. For those who forgot that one simple rule, pain and agony was mere seconds away.

The barracks were just as bad as Stallion thought they would be: dim, smelly, and crowded. It seemed that most soldiers came here when they weren’t on some form of duty. Not wanting to be around all of these men, Stallion decided to head for the mess hall to get something to eat. However, he didn’t make it far before he heard a voice.

“Hey, you! I heard you were the newbie. I wanted to welcome you the King’s Army. After all, it isn’t everyday that you join a group fighting for a good cause. What do you think of this place? Great, isn’t it?” asked a man in the hallway leading from the barracks to the mess hall. He was wearing red armor with a yellow stripe on the shoulder. Stallion thought that meant the man was a Captain, but he couldn’t be too sure. He knew that General Slasher had had a red band on his shoulder. Did that show that one was a General? Once again, Stallion could only guess.

“Uh. Well, this place is…unique to say the least.” Stallion muttered not knowing how to answer the man.

“Heh. You don’t seem too impressed in my opinion. Of course, I wasn’t when I first joined. So why did you join? Me personally, I joined ‘cause I wanted to protect my family and destroy those beasts before they destroyed us.”

“I didn’t really join by choice. I joined to help Lady Karan make up some battle plans. That and to do some damage in the battle.”

“Yeah, you get used to being in here…even if you never wanted to be here in the first place. I doubt they told you you’re never leaving the K.A.”

“WHAT?! What do you mean we never leave the K.A.? What can they do to stop people from just leaving and going home?”

“I don’t know exactly how…but every time someone tries to leave they turn up dead within a few hours or so. I’ve seen a great number of people die from trying to get out of service. It’s rather sad to see all those men dead. No one has ever made it out alive.”

“That is wrong…just so wrong. No one should be a prisoner in their own land. It just isn’t right! Why doesn’t word spread about these atrocities?”

“I’m not too sure, to tell you the truth. It could be just about anything really. Maybe a spell, assassins, shades, or whatever else the King has at his disposal. Either way, I would advise against leaving without permission. Most people who left and died looked like they had a slow and horrible death, in my opinion. Like they start dieing right after they’re out of sight or something.” The man mentioned in an offhand fashion.

“That is just…twisted. Is there anything worth saving in this deranged military? Anything at all?” Stallion demanded.

“The men and women who are forced to join, everyone who is enlisted to help those fighting, and that type of stuff.” He muttered. “Anyways, I have to head out soon for guard duty. I guess I’ll see you later. My name’s Tre by the way. And you must be Edith, right?” Tre asked

“Yes, but how did you know my name? I was only enlisted a little bit ago” Stallion asked in suspicion. How many others, even those outside of the Army, knew of this?

“Well, news travels fast when you are in a small encampment. If someone new becomes a member, by choice or not, nearly everyone will known within a few minutes. Other news spreads more slowly, depending on how interesting or needed the information is. Someone who may have been on the verge of execution and was enlisted by Lady Karan is definitely worth hearing about. She hasn’t ever overruled her father before now, so count you lucky. You must have something special in you that she noticed.” Tre chuckled as he walked towards the guard house check-in.

This could be extremely, no, incredibly bad… reflected Stallion after Tre turned a corner. Stallion set off walking, thinking. What he had heard was troubling. Unknown multitudes of people dieing mysteriously was…well, mysterious. Something just doesn’t add up, but—What?

“If you don’t do as I say, we’ll both be killed.” A voice was whispering on the other side of a door Stallion had stopped next to. It sounded low, ruff, and sort of bearish or harsh, as if the speaker (presumably a man by the sound) had gone through many hardships recently. “If we are to be successful, you need to pay attention! I don’t need to be set back again because of your stupidity. The Hive wanted that kid killed weeks ago. I mean, if those two joined together…”

“But surely the kid would never help him. Doesn’t he hate him?” asked a second, higher, smaller, timid voice. It was trembling slightly as if the speaker was petrified.

“Fool! The boy is already working for his army! If we don’t complete our mission soon, and I’m talking days here, we’ll have missed our chance. He could destroy the Hive if he is allowed to live!” the first voice muttered contemptuously.

“But he’s alone here! An outcast. Surely no one would step in to help him?”

“Have you not been paying attention? He is in the Lady’s good books. Not to mention friendly with that upstart ‘hero’ by now. If we attempt anything, they’ll both be all over us.”


“Shut up! Just shut up and do as I say! If we wait until they are all together and ready to leave, there will be no chance of them escaping and victory will be ours! Think! The rewards we’ll receive…rewards beyond measure!”

“’Rewards beyond measure...’”

Yes, and we’ll…WAIT! Did you hear that? It sounded like…” the first voice whispered, suddenly tense. There was no sound except for the light tap of a person’s feet as the crept towards the door. No time for flight! Stallion thought frantically. The next second the door flew open and two men, around 26 years old, burst silently into the corridor. One stood facing the way that Stallion had came, the other watching where he had been heading. After a minute of silent vigilance they turned back to face each other.

“No one. Sure you heard someone?” asked the second voice. It belonged to a squat, plump man. He was balding and wore clothes of wealth. At his side was an elegant sword, long yet thin. It looked rather light and fragile, but it could probably slice through bone as well as armor. In his hand was a razor sharp, yet no longer than normal, dagger.

“I’m positive. I know what I heard.” Replied the first voice curtly. This man had light brown hair, was rather tall and thin, but was still appeared powerfully built. He had a hand and a half sword in his hands. He was facing the squat man with his face hidden in shadows. Stallion knew him, but for the life of him he couldn’t think of who it was just by the voice. The next second the man moved into the light and Stallion nearly let out an audible gasp. It’s him! It’s that bastard! That mother (Censored Comment) bitch has the nerve to come back! If only I had my sword on me, I’d kill him here and now! Raged Stallion silently. General Klaw, I swear to any gods there are, I’ll kill you. Even if it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to kill (Censored Comment) you!

“We should get going, nonetheless. We should get ready, in case they want to leave before it is time for them to go.” General Klaw intoned.

“What about—“

“It doesn’t matter. Whoever it was won’t be able to stop us. It just doesn’t matter.” Klaw repeated blandly. He looked around one last time before setting off the way Stallion had come from. The pudgy man went hurrying in his wake. As they disappeared around a corner and out of site, Stallion eased his aching muscles and dropped down from his hiding spot. When he had heard General Klaw coming, Stallion had jumped up and grabbed the pipe that ran down the center of the corridor’s low ceiling. He had pulled himself up as quickly as he could and hung, sloth-like, from the pipe while the unknown man and General Klaw had burst into the passage.

As soon as he landed, Stallion took off in the opposite direction, the way he had been heading originally. Disturbing thoughts were racing each other through his mind. Broken images of his past were melding with reality.

A house, burning, in the distance. The sense of fear that consumed him. Finding the broken bodies of his family on the burnt remains of the kitchen. Hearing the insane laughter of the Krimson Army General. Hearing a scream of rage, denial, and unspeakable pain before realizing it was coming from his own mouth. Then vowing for revenge.

A host of bloody corpses laying at his feet. He hadn’t meant to kill them all. Only enough to make them run away, to flea. Now he had innocent blood on his hands, on his sword. His soul was heavy from that day forth.

A young girl, his first love, gone. Gone forever, nothing to save her. He saw her house, empty, nothing there, nothing left of their love. He could feel his hatred growing, his discontent. He would die from the pain…but that was not Fate’s choice. No, he had to live…live that life of misery.

A huge cavern. The silent and steady chorus of thousands of PLOPS as droplets of water fell from parts of the ancient ceiling. A mysterious vibe in the air as he moved forwards, into the unknown darkness…preparing to embrace the darkness…

As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Pbucket

Last edited by Rain Stinks on Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:05 pm; edited 8 times in total (Reason for editing : added the title, updated)
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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeSat Mar 13, 2010 8:05 am

You have a really great start here can't wait to see how it turns out.
Why did the prologue seem like Eragon?

There are so many people out there who say, "You can't."
What you have to do is turn around and say, "Watch me."
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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeMon Mar 15, 2010 3:04 pm

A godo story so far Rain, hope you update this soon as I would like to see how this story turns out.
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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeMon Mar 22, 2010 11:07 am

I like it, the prose was good and it really drew you in. Can't wait for more.
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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeMon Mar 22, 2010 1:35 pm

For the record, the Prologue was inspired by Eragon, which is why it's practically the same.

As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeSun Mar 28, 2010 4:20 am

BTW I just noticed all the censored words in there it don't mafe sense mate.

There are so many people out there who say, "You can't."
What you have to do is turn around and say, "Watch me."
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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeTue Mar 30, 2010 9:06 am

I'm going to re-update it...'cause that filter is


As authors, it is our Duty
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And do horrible, evil things to Them.

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeTue Mar 30, 2010 6:55 pm

Wow...Dang long prologue haha...Mine will be much shorter Razz

It's really well described and I like the idea. The only thing I could critic without looking like an idiot is a few minor errors...Can't talk about that 'cause my fanfic must have been the worst in grammar.. I'm really looking forward for more!

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeThu Apr 01, 2010 9:09 am

Laughing Thanks, as soon as I have a chance to finish Chapter 2, I'll type it up and post it.

As authors, it is our Duty
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And do horrible, evil things to Them.

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeThu Apr 01, 2010 6:26 pm

That oughta be good Razz

Hope you have enough time soon Lmao

No, seriously...I hope Razz

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeFri Apr 16, 2010 1:23 pm

I'm coming along. I'm nearly done with Chapter 2, which I'm still thinking of a title for. I might have it up soon. I'm just so swamped right now. I'm on 11 typed pages (what I have up right now) and another 5 pieces of paper filled that are the majority of Ch. 2. I'm hoping to have it up within the month...

As authors, it is our Duty
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And do horrible, evil things to Them.

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeSat May 08, 2010 1:33 pm

Chapter 2: Plans

“You ganna tell me watcha wan’ or wha’ buddy?”

Stallion gave a start, realizing where he was. He blinked rather stupidly at the cook now glaring at him.

“Jus’ mah luck. Another fool in way over his head.” rumbled the cook while he slowly shook his head. “So, I’ma guessin’ you wanna ea’, righ’?”

“Yes.” replied Stallion shortly. He was still confused and dazed by what had just happened. What was all of that just now?

“Well, then you jus’ take tha’ chair and we’ll whip somethin’ up for ya.” the man said before walking off. Stallion took the seat the cook had been pointing to and waited. Within a couple of minutes, the cook was back with a plate of toast, a baked potato, and eggs. “I know it ain’ much, bu’ you aren’ ganna get much better in this dump.”

“So…So, you don’t agree with this? I mean, the Krimson Army and them talking this place and making it into a base and everything?” Stallion asked quickly before starting to dig into the meager meal.

“Tha’s righ’. Both of ‘em. All it is is a bunch o’ kids and men getting’ killed. Par’ o’ the reason for why I joined was to do everythin’ possible to keep those fools alive.” said the cook nodding. As he spoke, his face—originally kind—became more brutal looking. His voice assumed a hostile tone. “I do wha’ I can…ain’ much I can do, bu’ I can at very bes’ feed ‘em.”

“What about the King? Do you blame him for this?” Stallion pushed. He was finally about to get some answers to his questions. They might be small, practically pointless questions, but Stallion needed every bit of information he could get.

“I don’ know nothin’ about him. Don’ wan’ to. He migh’ be sendin’ us to war, bu’ no one really knows why.” the cook rumbled in his gravely voice. He shook his head as if there were flies bothering him. Stallion was irresistibly reminded of a Tok. Toks were giant animals with thick hides. Very few objects could cut through their skin, and magic—depending on the magician—had little to no effect on them. They were as tall as two men and wider than their height. Their four legs were as huge as tree trunks with seven stubby toes on each foot. Their heads were attached to their bodies with little neck and huge noses called trunks. Those trunks could cause as much damage as storms, in a single swing. Since the trunks were nearly the same length as the Tok itself, when they shook their heads to get rid of insects annoying them their trunks swung from side to side and their rather bat-like ears flapped. “I don’ think I’d want to go against him. The King is jus’ too powerful. So I figure I’ll do wha’ he orders us to do. I can jus’ abou’ guarantee tha’ anyone would be killed for goin’ agains’ him.”

“I suppose…” Stallion sighed. “Thanks for the conversation, Mr…?”

“Oh, you can call me Thor. Jus’ Thor.”

“Alright. Well, thanks again Thor. I’ve enjoyed talking to you, but I need to finish a plan for Lady Karan. I guess I’ll be seeing you later.”

And with a final wave, Stallion departed. A sense of panic was slowly enveloping him. He needed a plan for the battle, which was hard enough under normal circumstances, and he had just over an hour to finish it. As he traveled through the maze of corridors, many soldiers ran past in all directions. It seemed that orders were being given and everyone was preparing for war. Nearly half of the men and women dashing through the building were yelling information, orders, and goodbyes to others. After turning one of the last corners leading to the barracks, Stallion saw a man and women exchange a grief induced farewell before running off in opposite directions. Fear and dismay engulfed Stallion and he sprinted the rest of the way. The barracks were completely empty, which suited him just fine. He had less than an hour to complete the plans. Stallion laid back on one of the bunks and closed his eyes.

There has to be a way to get an edge against those beasts. Let’s look at the facts: Grenbuls are smaller than Kaylans and can fit places Kaylans can’t. Kaylans are a good ten times stronger than Grunbuls and just as smart, if not smarter. Both species are brutal and helped the Darkness. Both use a wide variety of weapons. I know we’re surrounded by four mountains. What if…If the only way into this valley is through the gaps between those mountains, then the Grunbuls would come first if the two groups are mixed together. That would spell utter defeat…But if they come from different areas, divided rather than united, then we could route them. Kaylans would have to move in duel-wide formation to get through the paths between the mountains, I think, due to their size. That would be our chance to strike. The Grunbuls, however, would have to be taken out in the valley…

“Edith? We have to get going. It’s almost time.” said the voice of Lady Karan. “Do you have a plan prepared?”

“Yes, I have one. But there are many courses it has yet ran. Have we gotten any more information on the enemy army?” replied Stallion as he opened his eyes, sat up, and turned to look at Lady Karan. Still as beautiful as I thought. And just as familiar. If only I could figure out where she’s from in my mind. I know I know her. So…Who hides behind the masks of time?

“We have. They are just as large as us, but split seventy to thirty. Seventy percent of them are Grenbuls, with the rest being Kaylan factions. They’re coming from the North and East entrances to the valley. It appears they are marching according to their species, as well. The scouts saw no mixing of the Kaylan and Grenbul forces.” she said. She turned around and began walking. Stallion hastily hurried to catch up. “We can discuss the plan when we get to the tent.”

“Tent?” Stallion inquired.

“The command tent. All the Generals are already there. You can tell us your plan, and we can put the troops into formation. You’ll have to stay by me until the battle, however. The others do not trust you as I do.”

“I’m not surprised. Especially if they’re anything like your father…”

“They aren’t. But they trust and value his opinion more than mine. You’ll have to win them over before the battle, I think. It may be the only way to present your plan. Try to gain the trust of the other Generals. Whatever happens, don’t lose your temper and keep a calm demeanor. It is imperative that they trust you, or they’ll never go with your plan. And if they don’t take your plan, I fear that—“

“—We’ll all be murdered by those monsters.” Stallion finished gravely, nodding slightly. “I’ll do my best, my lady. But why do you trust me when everyone else doesn’t?”

“Why? Because of your eyes. They show me that you’re telling me the truth. Plus, I’m absolutely convinced that we know each other. Yet we don’t know each other. It’s like we forgot that we were acquainted. My heart tells me so, even though my mind is more cautious…We’re there. I’ll go first; wait until we call you in. If we’re ever in war, remember that these red tents are the commander tents and the largest one is the command tent. Just never enter without being told to do so. Now, get ready. I’ll see you in a minute.” Lady Karan muttered distractedly before hurrying into the huge tent. Two minutes passed before a man’s voice rang out.

“Enter. We are ready for you, Edith, and your plan now.”

And so Stallion entered through the flap on the tent. Inside was a large, rectangular, heavy wooden table at which six men and women sat. Lady Karan was at one head of the table with her father—who was in red armor—in the chair to her right. On her left was a bald man in a jet black cloak. His eyes were beady and the same color as his cloak. He was leaning back in his chair with his finger tips connected, staring at the tent’s ceiling. To his left sat a short, toad-like woman in a brown cloak. She was watching Stallion intently. Her eyes were larger, more prominent and—just like the man next to her—the same color as her cloak. Across from her sat Tre in a dark green armor. He sat, but was continuously fidgeting restlessly. Stallion realized just how bright his green eyes actually were. On Tre’s right sat another woman. This one was in a yellow armor. She had the weirdest eyes of them all: an astonishing yellow. She was gazing at the side of the tent but didn’t appear to be actually seeing it.

“So, you are Edith. Tell me…Why are you here?” asked the man in black, still looking at the ceiling.

“I am here to present a plan for battle.” Stallion replied. Why else would I be here? he thought scathingly.

“You misunderstand me.” the man smirked. “I mean, why are you helping us? Are you such an insolent brat that you think that we need, or even want, your help?”

“I am helping because I can. Why should I stand by and let unknown groups of men and women die? I think that I can help save lives with this.” replied Stallion. He spoke evenly, but his anger was starting to surface. Insolent brat am I? We’ll see about that…

“And it comes back to your past: Why should we trust you and believe that this plan of yours will work? Afterall, those were serious charges.” he asked, still smirking at the ceiling.

“I have done nothing I was charged with. And if you listen to the plan you’ll see why this plan will work. There are a few parts that need to be filled in, but—“ Stallion started to explain, but the man in black cut him suddenly off, sounding annoyed.

“Why waste our time then? If the plan is unfinished, it is of no use. And if it is of no use, then we must create a plan now, before it is too late.” the man demanded harshly. “We allowed you this chance…No, Lady Karan gave you this chance. I can see that she is losing her grip, already.”

“You’re wrong.” Lady Karan spoke up suddenly. “You have no idea what you speak of.”

“Oh? Is that so? Then enlighten us, my dear.” the man countered smoothly.

“He has the plan finished. He merely has multiple scenarios that could happen that he needs to cover. All Edith needs is some of the basic intelligence we have just recently received. Am I correct?” she looked over at Stallion.

“Yes, you are.” Stallion confirmed with a quick smile. “All I need to know is how exactly are they coming. How many soldiers do they have? And finally, what kind of soldiers are they?”

“We have seven hundred Grenbuls approaching from the East. Three hundred Kaylans from the North. The Kaylans are in duel-wide formation. The Grenbuls, however, are marching in a v-five formation. Each group carries a myriad combination of weapons. Some have been spotted with swords, battle-axes, long swords, scimitars, and a few with war hammers. Also, a few mages a several handful of archers accompany each group.” the toad like woman said after a moments silence. Her voice was oddly shrill. Bats are the only things that can hear her when she yells, I bet. Stallion thought snidely.

“We have one hundred mages, but only a dozen and some are able to do battle for extended periods of time with enemy magicians. There are two hundred archers, trained in close and long range aiming. Fifty and one hundred pike men. Fifty two-handed swordsmen. The last five hundred are normal foot soldiers. So, we do equal them in numbers.” Tre counted off quickly.

“What is this plan of yours then?” General Slasher asked suddenly. “I want to go over it…now before it is too late.”

“Well, if we attack the Kaylans with archers and swordsmen while they’re in the path between the mountains, drop rocks and boulders down on them, and hit them head on and, if it’s possible, from behind too; they won’t stand a chance. Only two could fight us while they’re in there but many of us could attack at once. It should be easy picking them off. Yet, if they were fought in the open, it would become at least ten times harder to kill them. The Grenbuls, however, are going to be more of a problem. Between the mountains won’t work; they would just overwhelm and overpower us. I think it would be best to tackle them in the valley. It’ll take some doing, but if we can keep them in the open, I think we’ll have a slight advantage. We should have the pike men in the front. With them keeping the Grunbuls back, magicians and archers could wreak havoc on the beasts without suffering casualties. Of course, if the brutes start to break through the frontline, I think the pike men should fall back and let a mix of normal foot soldiers and two-handed swordsmen take over.” Stallion explained quickly. “Once, or rather if, they break through completely, it’ll be like a free for all.”

“And how many soldiers do you think should take on each task?” the woman in yellow asked. Her voice was rather dreamy and she posed the question with her head cocked to the side and an innocent look on her face. She seemed to be the youngest of them other than Lady Karan.

“Well, I figure around two hundred for the Kaylans and the other eight hundred to fight the Grenbuls. Also, as soon as the Kaylans are finished, all those soldiers need to report to the fight with the Grenbuls.”

“So, you think the Grenbuls will cause more trouble?” she inquired in that same dreamy voice. “Why is that?”

“Because they tend to be more vicious. The Kaylans prefer slow paces…like torture. Grenbuls are a shook up hive, swarming like angry drones with no direction. They know how to only do one thing: destroy anything and everything.”

“True…true enough. Yes, very agreeably.” the lady muttered. “I must say, you’re superb with your logic. Not many can lay claim to that.”

“Now we need to decide.” the man in black cut in quickly before Stallion could reply. “Is his plan usable?”

“It is. Seems to be the best chance we could go with.” Tre answered quickly. Lady Karan and her father nodded in agreement. However, the man in black snorted and the toad woman shook her head.

“Majority is needed for the notion to be passed.” the woman in yellow spoke up suddenly. Her voice was no longer dreamy, but brisk and business-like. “And majority has been reached. We will use his plan.”

“Prepare the troops!” General Slasher yelled out the tent’s flap. “Tre, with me. We need to make sure the right orders are given out. The rest of you should get ready. We’ll see each other shortly.”

“Of course. Edith, you come with me. We need to get you suited up.” Lady Karan said as she stood up.”

Chapter 3: The War Begins

As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeSun May 16, 2010 9:08 am

I loved it! Your description is near perfection if you ask me! I just can't see what's wrong with it but just like Gabrielle (from IF) said, You can't grasp perfection Razz

The story is interesting...You're developing a kind of story that I enjoy reading! :D

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeWed May 19, 2010 11:03 am


Thanks. I had to put a month or so into that chapter to get it like that. Expect Chapter 3 up sometime this year. XD

Chapter 3, for those of you wondering, will be about the time leading up to a giant battle that will make up most (if not all) of Chapter 4.

EDIT: I'm putting up the chapter titles into my first post.

As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeSun Sep 19, 2010 6:11 am

O.o I wasn't informed that you already updated this story of yours! Why is that?! Question I have no idea... AnywY, as far as I can tell, this is a really good story aside from...well... I got a question, btw? Don't you think the word 'Dad' or some of the cuss words are a bit too modern for this kind of story? Also, are you going to call Edith 'Stallion'? I mean, just wondering, dear.. Lol xD

Oh and Lady Karan reminds me of Arya for some reason. >.< I dunno why... :S

Well, please update soooon!! I am waiting for more! :D
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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeMon Sep 20, 2010 9:40 am


Some of the words are supposed to be modernize. This is, actually (as you find out later in the book...end of it, actually), a civilization that has been mix of the Medieval Period and a Long Lost Future that got dragged into the past, hence the flying vehicles and such.

As soon as I get my lazy but to typing, I'll have Ch's. 3 and 4 up...

As authors, it is our Duty
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And do horrible, evil things to Them.

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeTue Sep 21, 2010 12:45 am

:O Oh really? Well, if that's the case then get on with the next chapter! JK XD Well, up to you. I be waiting. Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeWed Aug 03, 2011 2:02 pm

Okay, well...Here's a little something I like to call...An UPDATE.
Anyways, hope you enjoy. I might get the next chapter up as well here tonight or tomorrow. I'm not sure yet. However, please keep in mind that both of these are as yet not edited by myself. I haven't had the time, unfortunately. However, they have been tweaked, so they aren't the dead original chapters. They just aren't the refined chapters I would like to give you.

Chapter 3: The Kar'tang

"You can take anything you find. Shields, staffs, all of it." Lady Karan said slowly. "Be forewarned: Choose wisely. The weapon you choose has to be the one. You only get one chance in here. So I say again: Choose wisely...When you're ready, come out."

"You're not staying in here?" Stallion questioned. Lady Karan laughed.

"What? You want me to hold your hand through the process?" she teased gently. "Picking the weapon is supposed to be something special. Fighter and weapon form the first connection, the first bond. The weapon must become a part of the fighter. Consider it as an extension of your soul, if you will. Would you want someone around, as you connected two links of your soul together?"

"I suppose not. But how do you know which weapon is right?" asked Stallion in confusion. All that talk of connecting with a tool confused him.

"Trust me, you'll know. If you don't realize just by looking at it, you will when you pick it up."

"And if nothing in here is 'the one'?"

"Then something is wrong. This armory is said to hold the special weapon for any who search its depths. Doubt me if you want, but I stand by my word that if you search long enough, you'll find that missing section of your soul." said Lady Karan before walking out and closing the door behind her. Stallion didn't move, but rather looked around at the surrounding glittering masses of metal, wood, and fine jewels.

"Where to start?" he muttered. Suddenly, as he looked into the darkest part of the armory, he felt a weird sensation in his gut. Slowly an uncontrollable urge to search that area first overtook him, forcing him into action.

Is this what she meant? Stallion wondered in amazement. As he neared the wall, Stallion's eyes were drawn to a black sheath laid carelessly against an antique shield. The handle of the sword was elegantly carved with small Moonstones set into the guard and a shockingly clear sapphire enclosed in the end of the hilt. Veins of gold wrapped around the gem, extending to the tip where they all came together in a sharp, precise point. Stallion figured it was a hand-and-half sword, by the rough size of the hilt. Even the guard had gold spiraled around it.

Unconsciously, Stallion reached his hand out and pulled the blade and sheath to his side.

Not too heavy...fits well... Stallion reflected slowly after buckling on the sheath. He drew the blade and felt it over with his hands. The blade was perfect and flawless. It was dyed a pitch black with a Moonstone on each side, positioned just after the guard in the center of the blade. Stallion felt a steady power flow from the blade into his arms. No...This is no blade. This is something else...something more... he thought. Of this he was certain.

"What are you?" Stallion muttered, turning the sword over in his hands. "Why call for me?"
At these words a surge flew up his arm and flooded his brain, obliterating all he knew. A boiling anger, a lust for blood, and a fiery power filled Stallion, and he began to gasp for breath. He staggered and fell against the wall as he fought for control of his own mind.

Hellfire! I can't...keep... Stallion thought as his vision began to fade. Flashes of images began rolling through his mind. Suddenly the image of his sister forced itself through the tangled mess. Lily! My promise...of a lifetime. I will...get revenge... Stallion thought violently, pushing his conscious at the flowing energy streaming through his mind.

Then prove it. Prove you are able to master my power! a voice whispered venhemently in Stallion's mind.

"I WILL NOT LOSE TO YOU!" Stallion roared, his eyes flying open. Slwoly he forced the weird flow of power out, bit by bit, but he was unable to keep it out of him completely. "I have...a..." Stallion tried to begin before losing consciousness.


You are the one I've been waiting for...the one who will tip the balance one way or another... the Voice said as Stallion began to come to.


"He's waking!" a female voice exclaimed. "Edith?! Can you hear me?"

"Where...Where am I?" Stallion muttered as he opened his eyes and saw Lady Karan, Tre, and some doctor standing around him. Thena more chilling thought entered his mind, causing him to sit up quickly. Spots danced in front of his eyes and the doctor pushed him back down.

"You tryin' to give yourself the Black Curse? You ain't gettin' up any time soon, son." he said with a frown. "And you're in the armory still."

"How long until the battle? Has it started yet?" STallion asked impatiently.

"No. We've got about half an hour, max." Tre answered.

"You ain't gonna be able to fight, not after that stunt you just pulled." muttered the doctor. "What you were thinking, I don't know..."

"What do you mean? What 'stunt'?" Stallion quickly asked.

"You pickin' up the Kar'tang! What else?"

"The what?"

"You don't know the story of the Kar'tang?" The doctor asked in amazement. "Well that explains a lot!"

"What the fudge are you rambling about?" Stallion retorted angrily. "Either explain or fudge off already."

"You bloody idiot! If it wasn't for me, you'd be dead!" the doctor roared. "The Kar'tang, that sword you had, is called the Black Doom, the Curse Giver, the Dajuk Majar. Any ring bells?"

"That was the Dajuk Majar?" Stallion whispered, his temper freezing instantly. e knew the name by reputation only, but it still struck his blood cold.

"Ye, it is. But you obviously don't know the story..." the man growled. "The Kar'tang was once wielded by Vash Nutro, the man who unleashed the first Vashnu and died releasing the Darkness. He cursed the sword with his evil wizardry, so that no one else could wield it without - depending on their strength - either dying or going insane. Not only that, it's said that the Dajuk Majar has a mind of its own, that it lusts for blood and begs for battle. It's a nasty piece of work, to be sure."

"Why did you pick it up, Edith? Why not one of the other weapons?" Lady Karan asked sharply, a frown creasing her brow.

"Remember what you said? About knowing which weapon was right?" Lady Karan nodded. "That blade called to me. I was [i]drawn to it." The other three exchanged worried looks. "What? What was with those looks?" Stallion demanded.

"Well...they say the next one to be able to conquer the power of the Kar'tang will hold immense power himself...and that the Kar'tang will call to him..." Tre muttered hesitantly. "However, there is much debate about whether or not this 'One' will be good or evil. It is very unclear, even among the Prophets."

"But -- " Stallion began, but at that point a horn was heard, loud and clear. Lady Karan and Tre jumped up, drawing their swords.

"It is time." Tre said, his eyes glowing. "We must go."

"One moment." Lady Karan said. "Edith, can you fight?"

"Of course! But..." STallion said loudly, overriding the doctor's protests. "I want to use the Kar'tang."

"Were you listening?! That thing's evil, pure evil!" the doctor yelled. "Do you want to die?"

"I won't die..." Stallion muttered. "I know what I'm doing. Now get out of my way." STallion stood up, pushing the doctor aside, a grim expression set on his face. Lady Karan and Tre exchanged alarmed looks, but before either of them could say anything, Stallion lifted up the Kar'tang. The sheath was still hooked to his side, but Stallion kept the blade bare. The blade seemed to suck in the surrounding light, the Moonstones seemed to glow.

"We should get moving. The battle will be starting soon." Stallion announced, striding for the door confidently.

"Keep a close eye on that one, won't you?" Whispered the doctor, thinking Stallion wouldn't hear him. Stallion sensed, rather than saw, Tre and Lady Karan nod an affirmative before joining him.

"Have you ever used any kind of ranged weaponry?" Try asked after they had walked down several deserted corridors. "Or just magic and blades?"

"Eh? Oh, some, yeah. I can use them, but I prefer to use a sword. It just feels more..." Stallion cast around for an appropriate word. "...natural, I suppose."

"When we get to the field, we'll get you armor and a bow with a full quiver. We'll need to get rid of as many Grenbuls from a distance as we can. Anyone who can shoot will be needed." Tre mentioned in an offhand tone. There was a short pause. "And don't use magic unless needed, alright? We don't need you using up energy quicker than normal."

"Fine." Stallion agreed gruffly, feeling pestered. Than a thought floated to him from the void, causing him to narrow his eyes in suspicion. "How do you know the toll of using magic? That isn't exactly common knowledge, even among magicians."

"That discussion is for another time." Tre said shortly.

"As you wish, but you [i]will tell me sooner or later. "Stallion said forcefully. "I'll be waiting."

"There are things, you know, that would only annoy you if you knew them. That's really the only reason why we won't tell you anything right now. Maybe later, after the battle." Tre shrugged. "Any queries about how the battle is set up?"

"Just the one: How will the Generals be laid out?"

"Since there are six of us, we will be split into three groups of two. Each group will command a different set of our fighters, obviously." Lady Karan said briskly.

"Who will be grouped with whom? And what will they command? Who will I fight under?"

"Tre and I will take charge of the battlement set to engage the Grenbul force. You will be with us. My father and Charla --"

"Who's Charla?" Stallion interrupted quickly.

"--The one in yellow. As I was saying, they will be in command of those fighting the Kaylan army. Finally, Tsao Zhen and Lenorean," She held up her hand to forestall Stallion's question, "the man in black and the woman in brown, in other words, will oversee the entire force of magicians."

"That seems --" Stallion began, but stopped short as they exited the Dark Cathedral (As Stallion had decided to call it). Fighters were being divided into groups. All together they were overall split into two large regiments. both of these sets of warriors bore grim, but determined, expressions.

"This way. Stay behind us unless the fighting breaks us apart. "Lady Karan told Stallion as they headed to the front of the two regiments.

"we march east." Tre added. Raising his voice he called, "Formations! On our march, move out!" Fight for survival, for our lives, for our families and loved ones, for the powers of good! Show no mercy to these beasts! Come back with your shields, or on them!"

As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeMon Nov 07, 2011 8:40 pm

Okay, sorry for the major delay for those few who actually read this.

Here's Chapter 4 for you all.

Enjoy! I'm working on Chapter 5 bit by bit, so it won't be done for a while.


Chapter Four

The War Begins

The anticipation, Stallion had finally decided, would drive him to
insanity. This march to a certain, yet uncertain, doom was barely
tolerable. Men and women in all sorts of armor, paddings, and armaments
wore grim expressions, yet every single one of them marched
determinedly to what would, in many cases, surely be their deaths.
Stallion, Lady Karan, and Tre walked in front of the vast column of
soldiers heading east to confront the Grenbul horde. The sun mocked them
from the mid-day sky, bursting forth with stunning rays lancing towards
the ground far below in a playful manner. Normally, this would be a day to relax...And here we are, marching towards war and death, pain and misery, hate and violence,
Stallion reflected bitterly. Yet, as the day progressed, the sun did
not last. By evening, dark-black clouds obscured the heavens and an
unnatural chill slowly crept onto the valley floor. Death seemed to
linger in the air, impatient for the souls he would soon receive.

The members of the Krimson Army stopped at the lowest point of the valley: a wide, barren place of hard, flat slate.

"This is the Valley of Death. The site of many a battle between good
and evil; or, sometimes, evil and evil." Lady Karan murmured solemnly to
Stallion. "The beasts of Darkness, before we claimed the area, often
fought here."

"Hours have passed. Why haven't we met the
Grenbuls? I thought they had been nearly upon us when we left the
armory." Stallion asked hotly.

"Nay, that was the Kaylan force. It seems the Grenbuls, for reasons unknown, were held up. But they will be here all too soon."

This information worried Stallion. But now, in the imminent prospect of
battle, was not the time to speculate upon the matter. To distract
himself, he strung his bow and drew several arrows. The Kar'tang was
fastened to his side, waiting to be wielded once again for the glory of

"What was that?" shrieked a fighter. "Did anyone else hear it?"

Everyone tensed, every fighter alert and on their feet. No one moved as
they strained their ears to catch any sounds. All was silent. Tre and
Lady Karan exchanged a look. The archers prepared to let loose their
first flight of arrows. It was when Stallion began to wonder if there
was anything out there that they heard it.

Gutteral cries, war
horns, and a clanging gong burst through the night. Seconds later, a
dark mass streamed into sight. The beasts flew in a relentless wave
towards the K. A. force. Stallion loosed several arrows, adding to the
wave that the rest of the archers sent out. Many Grenbuls fell with
cries of agony, but still more came. All to soon the monsters were upon
them, and, seconds later, they broke through the ranks and chaos ensued.
Everywhere was blood, bodies, yells, and the clash of steel on steel.

The Kar'tang glowed with blood-lust, its power growing with each kill. Blood! Death! Destruction! Let our enemies feel our wrath! the Voice hissed violently in Stallion's mind, and he obeyed without hesitation. This was it. This was life and death.

Stallion quickly became oblivious to all thoughts; he acted on
instincts alone. He had become a true warrior and all the demons that
crossed his path fell underneath the midnight-blue clad figure.

Grenbul charged him, mace raised, growling viciously. Deftly dodging
the blow, Stallion sliced the beast's arm off and stabbed it through the
neck. He paid no attention to the blood spurting out of the stump of an
arm or that gushed from the gaping hole in its neck as the Grenbul fell
in a heap. Blood, dark and greenish-yellow, continued to shoot out feet
from the severed arm as Stallion moved to face his next opponent,
standing in a pool of blood. He swung the Kar'tang at the Grenbul,
cutting through the beast's weak wooden shield and torso. Blood
splattered the ground in a torrent as the Grenbul fell in two pieces,
still hanging on to life. With a look of disgust, Stallion drove the
sword straight into the Grenbul's skull with a slight crunch as
the metal crushed bone and mixed with brain and that pus-like blood.
Yanking the sword out, Stallion quickly stabbed another Grenbul through
the heart as the beast attempted to strike another K. A. soldier that it
had knocked to the ground. The beast howled as Stallion withdrew the
blade before it fell to the ground. A hobnailed boot came down upon the
Grenbul's head, splattering the carcass's brain, skull, and eyes in a
sickening mess. The wearer, another Grenbul, swung its sword at
Stallion's head, who quickly ducked and cut the beast's legs out.
Quickly swinging the Kar'tang in an arc, Stallion lobbed the beast's
head off, causing the decapitated head to roll off.

around, Stallion saw Lady Karan surrounded by seven of the beasts and
his heart filled with bloody rage as his minded burned red. With a roar,
he dashed to the ring, slicing one of the beast's head open vertically,
exposing its gaudy, and pink, slimy brain. He had decapitated a second
before the rest of the beasts realized he was there. Lady Karan
dispatched two more as Stallion parried a blow from another and
retaliated with a thrust through the Grenbul's chest. The final two,
however, were about to attack Lady Karan, who was unable to fend them
both off at once.

"Barjslu!" barked Stallion, raising his left
hand. Both of the Grenbuls' necks twisted with appropriate retorts as
they fell to the ground with snapped necks. Lady Karan picked up one of
their axes and chucked it at Stallion, who threw himself sideways. A
yell from behind him made him spin around to see a Grenbul fall with the
ax embedded firmly in its face. The beast was less than a foot from
him. Stallion looked at Lady Karan and nodded his thanks before the
battle swept them apart once more.

Some time later, Stallion
having bested more Grenbuls than he cared to count with only minor
injuries sustained, he saw Tre dance past. Slashing through several
beasts, Tre was led off out of sight, but not before Stallion had seen a
long, bloody cut on his arm. The next moment, Stallion saw a fireball
as large as a boulder fly towards the archers behind him. The projectile
landed in the center of the group with an earsplitting explosion. Men
and women ran through the chaos, their figures burning with enchanted
flames. Eyes wide with horror, Stallion traced the magic trail back to a
small cluster of Grenbuls.

"Skiln gutolen Knis'vak!" growled
Stallion with contempt. The magicians' eyes turned opaque, unseeing, as
light was prevented from entering their pupils. One shot a bolt of
golden energy at random from its palm, striking and killing another of
the magicians instantly, as Stallion dashed to the knot of spell
casters. They fell where they stood, none foreseeing the dark blade that
would soon spell death for them. With their deaths, Stallions gained a
brief, yet needed, respite from the fever of war. He was covered in gore
and blood soaked into his shoes: The fallen of the battle continuously
leaked blood, creating great pools of the stuff. With a swift movement,
Stallion thrust the Kar'tang between his left arm and ribs. The blade
sunk satisfyingly into flesh as a Grenbul howled in pain and anguish.
Yanking the weapon out, Stallion returned to the battle, leaving the
corpse to crumble behind him.

Slowly Stallion started to notice a
disturbance in the battle: Something was wrong. Moments later, he
realized the problem: They were losing. The Grenbuls were slowly gaining
ground, pushing the K. A. back towards the Dark Cathedral leagues to
the west. How could the scouts have been so off, miscalculated this bad? Stallion wondered in dismay as more and more Grenbuls teemed to the battle.

They were misled. Illusions of magic of the strongest vein. the Voice said suddenly.

But who, or what, could do that? Stallion asked irritably.

The Voice hissed in reply. A Fiend more terrible than Grenbuls or Kaylans. A beast of Darkness.

Obviously. But What? Stallion pressed in annoyance. No response generated in his head from the Voice. Fine. Ignore the question.
hours stretched by, but the battle neither wavered nor showed signs of
any form of an end. The Grenbuls were winning, but the tide of the
battle was very slowly starting to change. Without further
reinforcements, the Grenbuls were falling to the K. A. But the beasts
still outnumbered the humans nearly two to one.

An iron-clad
fist collided with the side of Stallion's head, sending him flying. The
Grenbul raised its monstrous two-hand sword for the death blow, its
muscles bulging and eyes glowing triumphantly.

"Bragh!" Stallion
yelped. The brute's sword broke in a jagged line and fell on its head a
split second before it swung the blade. Looking stupidly at the hilt,
the Grenbul failed to notice Stallion roll forward and lunge at the
beast, stabbing it through the center of its chest. Stallion yanked the
Kar'tang out with an odd squelching sound. Disoriented, Stallion
retreated back as two Grenbuls closed in on him. Both were wielding
thick battle-axes coated with blood. Steeling himself, Stallion waited
for them to charge, but received a shock instead as one growled.

"Pathetic human, you are on the wrong side. Darkness would serve you
much better than you are being served now. That blade is of Darkness, as
is your heart. Our leaders will make you join the Dark. You are invited
to speak with one now. You will come with us."

"To hell with
you and your leaders! I'll not serve beasts who revel in the murders of
innocents. I'd rather rip your throats out than go with you!" Stallion

"Ignorant fool! Our leaders are Dark Creatures looking
for an end to the pointless wars, unlike you humans. Your leaders seek
nothing but war and power, unlike ours. You have no coice, you will come
with us to our leader now." The second Grenbul said as they started to
close in on Stallion.

"I have every choice. Mine is to end your disgusting existence. I'll die before going with you."

"Our leader will find you anyways. You will speak with our leader. You
have no choice." Repeated the Grenbul. "You will join our leader or die.
Your power is an ant compared to our leader's. You have no choice."

"We will cut your arms off, yes? Maybe that will make you more agreeable, yes?" growled the first Grenbul, lunging forward.

"Or you can just have the good taste and decency to just die already."
Stallion yelled, easily evading the two large beasts. "Brack tundren

The Grenbuls fell as shards of bone protruded from their
legs, howling in pain and clutching their legs they cursed Stallion in
their gravely native tongue.

"Yes, it hurts doesn't it?" Stallion asked mockingly as he stabbed a third Grenbul through the heart.

"Kill us, then, human!" Spat the first monster.

"No. I'd rather hell took you back." Stallion growled, his eyes narrowing. "Urzulan grundvi."

The Grenbuls' eyes widened in terror as the ground they layed upon
opened up as if to swallow them whole. They fell into the depths, and a
second later the holes closed like a trap as Stallion waved his hand and
muttered, "Vazulr."

"Enjoying yourself?" asked a voice behind
Stallion a minute later. Twirling around, raising the Kar'tang, Stallion
saw Tre. Blinking, Stallion realized they were now standing in the
middle of a band of Krimson Army soldiers. "You should get ready, the
final wave is about to hit us."

"How do you know?"

"That doesn't matter."

"Whatever." Stallion snapped, infuriated at Tre's lack of explanation.
"Who healed your arm?" he added, noting that the injury was gone.

"Does it matter? Such information in the middle of battle is rather
like a useless burden." Tre replied with an eyebrow raised. "I'll
explain after the – sugar!" With a yell, Tre and Stallion dived in
opposite directions as a rush of fire flew at them. The very air seemed
to be on fire, the heat scorching hot. The ground where they had just
occupied was a flaming inferno that was starting to grow. Within
seconds, the fire – as if it were a sentient being – had encircled
Stallion and was getting closer.

"Jut'hren frengrir!" Stallion
yelled desperately, pointing at a part in the wall of fire as he ran at
it. Mercifully, the flames parted just enough for him to roll free. Yet,
instead of burning itself out, the flames continued to grow. I have no choice… Stallion thought as he realized the only way to stop the twisted fire. "Vishnagh tuv acenvor!"

The air surrounding the flames turned to water. The flames, with no air
to devour and drenched in ice cold water, wavered before finally
sputtering out of existence. The drain on his conscious from such a high
level strain of magic hit Stallion like a brick wall. The edges of his
vision went dark as he struggled to remain upright, fighting the
effects. He fell to one knee, and looking up saw a Grenbul force its way
through soldiers in front of him, throwing them around like nothing,
cutting through them like bread and butter. No…

The beast swung its sword at Stallion's neck. There wasn't enough time to react, to save himself. Not enough time –

Two swords crossed in front of Stallion. The ring of steel rang as the
Grenbul's sword landed against the twin blades. A boot swung up,
knocking the beast's sword aside, and the next second found the twin
blade's slicing the Grenbul's head clean off.

"Up, boy!" yelled a voice. Two hands yanked Stallion roughly to his feet.

"General Slasher?! You saved me?" Stallion asked in amazement as he looked at the wielder of the twin blades.

"Of course. I still don't trust you, mind." General Slasher continued,
forestalling Stallion's question. "However, even I cannot deny that we
need you…alive. Prepare yourself now, the fire's nest is about to break

"So I've heard." Muttered Stallion. "But – "

you two alright?" Lady Karan asked as she suddenly appeared beside
them. She was covered in gore, but seemed to have suffered hardly any

"Brace yourselves! Here comes the surge. Hell's gates
themselves seemed to have opened." Tre cut in grimly before anyone could
respond, backing up to them. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but
they're coming from the south and east sides of the Valley of Death."

"Then back to back, shoulder to shoulder!" General Salsher yelled.

"Should we evoke the Chakradories?" Lady Karan muttered.

"Agreed." General Slasher and Tre muttered back. Stallion stared at them in confusion. What the hell are they talking about?

"You first, Father."

"Yes, I know." General Slasher sighed. "Frengrir!" Before Stallion's
astonished gaze, General Slasher changed. His armor became fire-colored
and the tips became shaped like flames; his swords took on the same
color with the guard becoming flame shaped; the ruby set into each
blade's hilt danced with fire inside of them. General Slasher looked
like a walking fire.

"My turn…" Tre murmered. "Farzunt!" He too
changed at the word. His armor looked like plants; his sword was a deep
green with the guard appearing to be leaves; the emerald in the sword's
hilt seemed to glow with an inner light from a forest. It was almost as
if Tre had become the representation of Nature itself.

finally…" Lady Karan muttered. "Vishnagh!" Her armor turned the purest
white, shifting into abstract shapes before solidifying. Elegant yet
fierce, her armor was like a storm about to break. Her sword's guard
looked like white lightning, while her blade appeared to be made of
snow. Lady Karan seemed to glow in the darkness; the diamond embedded
into her sword's hilt seemed to contain lightning itself.

see…" Lady Karan muttered, closing her eyes. "There's – " Her eyes
opened " – Something is blocking the probe. There is more than Grenbuls
or Kaylans coming."

"Whatever the thing is, it's really Dark." Tre growled. That was when Stallion noticed it.

"Yes, I think – " General Slasher started before Stallion cut in, his eyes narrowed.

"First your armor, and now this. And now, now I see your eyes. What the fudge are you? No human has eyes that look like that. No eyes are pure red, green, or white! None!" Stallion yelled. The others exchanged looks.

"We are magicians. That's all we can tell you. We are
human, and don't serve the Darkness obviously." Lady Karan said
quickly. "But now isn't the time for questions or explanations, this is

"You – " Stallion began, but at that moment a death gong sounded. The final wave had arrived.

From all around came guttural war cries, yells, and the thud of
hundreds of metal studded boots. The death gong sounded again. Seconds
later, the Grenbuls came into sight: A mass of swarming beasts charging
from all sides towards the waiting members of the Krimson Army. Stallion
readied the Kar'tang, Tre tensed, Lady Karan shifted her footing, and
General Slasher raised his twin swords. A second of suspense and then
the Grenbuls were upon them. But Stallion knew that was the least of
their worries…

Then all hell broke lose.

As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Pbucket
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PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeTue Mar 20, 2012 9:04 pm

Okay everyone, here's a new update. I'm not sure if I'll add anymore to
this Chapter or not, but I thought this was a good spot to end this
chapter. I hope you enjoy, it's a bit on the shorter side.


Chapter 5
A Dance of Death

air, already thick with the day's bloody fight, grew still. It seemed
as if the dark night was closing in on the two opposing factions. Both
Grenbuls and humans faltered, unsure of what was happening. Slowly the
fighting ceased and the two entities divided, leaving the dead behind.
Those who remained formed two lines, waiting.

"What's going on?" Stallion asked quietly. "Why'd the fighting stop? What's with this darkness?"

"Something is coming." General Slasher replied slowly.

this thing is, it's controlling these beasts. It obviously wants to
make a grand entrance of some sort." Lady Karan said darkly.

"But where is it gonna come from?" asked Stallion.

"Behind the Grenbul line." Tre replied shortly.

"But --- "

up! Listen! Enough of the questions, this isn't the damn time." Tre
snarled. "These beasts are after something..." he added after a short

"Or someone." Lady Karan suggested quietly, her expression shrewd.

"One, or more, of you three?" Stallion said quickly.

"No...Someone - I think - of more power than us. Someone more dangerous
to the Darkness." She said in the same thoughtful tone. "Someone who is
most likely unaware of," she hesitated, "their own power."

At her words, a chill crept down Stallion's spine. The two Grenbuls had tried to take him to their master... But surely I'd know if I had power like that, wouldn't I? Stallion thought to himself.

air began to chill as a fiery light appeared over the horizon behind
the Grenbul line. IT flickered and grew, seeming to get closer and
stronger. Within minutes, four foot long flames were visible. They
seemed to glow demonically, tinged with black instead of white. A death
gong sounded in the distance, a mournful note in the stilled silence.
The flames grew brighter, yet Darker all the while.


The note sounded louder. The torches burning behind the Krimson Army went into a crazed and frenzied dance.


note blew again, louder still. Stallion's heart beat quicker, his limbs
began to tingle, and his vision was ratcheted to the spreading flames.


"Dark-Fire..." Lady Karan muttered in surprise, fear clearly audible in her voice.

"Yes, Dark-Fire." General Slasher repeated. "Cursed Fire. This is truly a Dark Night."

was about to ask what they were talking about when a flash of light
drew his gaze back to the flames. Then something triggered inside him,
something that would stay with him forever more.

~ ~ ~

Save me!" yelled Liky as a flash of light lit up Stallion's vision.
Flames erupted out of their house, tinged with black, as a tall man
walked out of the front door.

"Remember this, boy. All of it," he sneered on his way past Stallion's hiding place.

~ ~ ~

flash of light across the sky brought Stallion back to his
surroundings. The flames burst into the sky without fading, still
connected to the inferno below. A flaming raven slowly took shape, its
wings spread wide, its beak open in a cry. It stayed there for several
minutes before the flames dispersed, traveling in all directions. Then
came another burst of light and a flash of fire between the two armies.
Many soldiers on both sides cried out in surprise and shock. Several
cursed, stomping out fires that had appeared. Then came the sound of
hundred of men and women groaning in dismay.

Where the flames had
appeared between the armies now stood a gigantic beast. It stood seven
feet tall, black skin covered in black armor, a vicious monstrosity of a
whip upon its side, an enormous sword with a notched and spiked end in
one hand, a thick shield in the other, evil eyes that were purely blood
red with no whites, and yellow fangs. The eyes glowed as if a fire was
lit behind them. The monster's arms and build were of solid, bulging
muscles. Slowly, the beast looked from side to side, observing the army
before it. Then its upper lip curled into something resembling a sneer.

Well...Welcome to hell. Stallion thought. He knew what this beast was.

"By the gods..." Tre muttered.

"Yeah." Lady Karan said quietly.

"They've awakened a Vashnu." Stallion said in response.

"Oh, hell." A soldier said to his left.

steady strides, the Vashnu walked towards the K. A. Quickly the
creature lifted off its whip and sent the tip flying towards on of the
soldiers. Spikes wrapped around the poor man's neck and head before the
Vashnu started pulling the man towards him. Screams rent the air, then
abruptly ended when the man reached the Vashnu. The beast struck out its
fist into the man's chest, ripping his heart right out. Blood shot out
of the organ as the Vashnu squeezed, adding to the rapid pool appearing
around the body at its feet. Like a breeze, the whip curled back into
place on its own. A light thunk sounded as the crushed heart hit the

"This heart has returned to the Darkness from whence it
came. All things are burn unto Darkness, and all things return to
Darkness. Leave thy places and embrace that which gave thee life now and
rejoice. Refuse and feel the pain of an early demise. This choice I
humbly propose to thee." The Vashnu growled.

Nobody moved an inch. Who would believe the beast's words?

thy ranks lies a being whom I search for. Blue as midnight, that is his
mark." The Vashnu held out his hand. "Deliver him to me. I will reward
you graciously."
Several minutes passed before the Vashnu bared its
teeth, fangs gleaming madder in the ghastly light. "You disappoint me,
mortals." The beast turned, stalking through the Grenbul mass. It lifted
up its right hand, giving a slight wave. "Kill them all. Bring me the
one I want. The rest shall die," it rumbled.

The Grenbuls did not
hesitate, and neither did the Krimson Army. Seconds later, the two
forces collided in a whirl of sound. Men and monsters alike snarled and
growled at each other. Metal clashed upon metal as fiend and human fell.
Blood oozed fresh, gushing from severe wounds and fatal marks, and
slowly seeping from lesser gashes.

Lady Karan practically flew through the forces, dealing death blows as quickly as the wind.

General Slasher dealt death just as quick, spreading out like a fire to kill all in his path.

Tre spread from place to place, leaving a growing pile of bodies near him, a tree of the dead.

Stallion knew in his heart, and he knew not how, that this was all for
him. Somehow. Even more so he knew he had to kill the Vashnu before it
got involved in the fight personally.

It was time for Stallion to go to war.

As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Pbucket
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Old Amsterdam
Bow Before Thy Master
Bow Before Thy Master
Old Amsterdam

Join date : 2010-03-04
Rank : Head Admin / Site Owner

Posts : 7269

UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Empty
PostSubject: Re: UPDATED!!! Chapter 5 is up.   UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Icon_minitimeThu Feb 21, 2013 10:44 pm

Alright everyone, this thread is now closed.

For those who care about this story, I'll be posting up new chapters is a different thread, along with an ENTIRE revamp of old chapters.

That's right, fans, a brand-new version of The War: First Blood is coming!

As authors, it is our Duty
To create lovable, enticing Characters
And do horrible, evil things to Them.

UPDATED!!!  Chapter 5 is up. Pbucket
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